BEST COMEDY IN YEARS STRAIGHT OFF THE NEWS.

Byline: Fred Shuster Daily News Staff Writer

Stand-up comedy has long been known for taking the pulse of the nation or at the very least offering an alternate take on the Zeitgeist.

With so much to draw from in the news these days - a drop in the youth crime rate, Marv Albert, the Al Gore fund-raising probe, Chelsea Clinton goes to college, the Fen-Phen recall, global warming, the Rolling Stones on tour, El Nino, fear of paparrazi - it's no wonder stand-up comics are once again turning to the news for material.

``CNN's job is to make sure I have plenty of material,'' said Argus Hamilton, a stand-up comic since 1976.

So we made trips to the some of the area clubs, took a look at late-night TV and listened to area radio stations to see just how strong the nation's comedy pulse is.

Hamilton, opening an evening of stand-up at the Comedy Store in Hollywood on Thursday, earned laughs from one-liners about life in Los Angeles: ``It's true black folks and white folks have a hard time getting along in L.A. - because neither of us speak Spanish.''

Late-night TV host Jay Leno, of course, nearly always spins his monologue from the stuff of news. When he wasn't yukking it up over the Albert assault case, he was poking fun at the ongoing Stones tour.

``You know what's amazing about the Rolling Stones?'' Leno asked the other night. ``They are the only major rock band in history where the band is eligible for preboarding when they get to the aircraft.''

Radio across the country had a ball with the Albert story, and song parodies were the order of the day at most stations.

Stephanie Miller, comic evening host on talk-radio KABC-AM (790), said there hadn't been this much material to mine for funny purposes since the O.J. Simpson trial ended.

``There is so much news out there these days, that comedy writes itself,'' she said. ``I plan on giving my paycheck back to KABC every week. I don't think it's morally right to take the money.''

At Hollywood's Laugh Factory recently, local comic Tommy Blaze had fun with the point where the high unemployment rate and Gen-X fashions intersect.

``Body piercing - that's smart,'' he said to laughs. ``In a shrinking job market, stick metal in your face. Great idea.''

Another local funnyman, Joel Lindley, stood up and made fun of educational programs in prisons.

``A friend of mine said he wanted to go to prison and get his master's degree,'' Lindley said.

On other local stages, the battle of the sexes was still a big topic. But Hamilton, unlike other stand-ups, filled his 30-minute spot with one news topic after another.

``The FDA ordered the recall of the diet drug combination known as Fen-Phen,'' he said. ``It's speed in the morning and a sleeping pill at night. They called it Fen-Phen because that sounded cuter than the Judy Garland diet.''

And, of course, Kennedy family values and the Simpson saga are hardy comedy perennials.

``The U.S. will spend $50 million on a program to urge teen-age girls to remain abstinent,'' Hamilton threw out. ``A version of this has worked before. Last year, the Kennedys spent $50 million to urge teen-age girls to remain quiet.''

And earlier this week (Friday was the second anniversary of Simpson's acquittal in the criminal case) TV talk host David Letterman made mention of Simpson's recent move to a gated community in Brentwood.

``If you're driving around looking for O.J.'s place, it's easy to find,'' the late-night talker said. ``It's the one with the sign on the fence that says `Beware of Owner.' ''

Some things never change.

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2 Photos

Photo: (1) Keith Richards and his band mates in the Stones are getting up there in years, a fact that hasn't gone unnoticed down the joke pipeline.

Associated Press

(2) ALBERT