BERNSON PULLING OLD 'OOPS' PLOY?

Byline: Kimit A. Muston Local View

I think my favorite word in the entire English language is ``oops.'' Not only is it the ultimate expression of the human fallibility we all share, but it can tell a complete story in its four letters if you know who is saying it. George Custer: ``Oops.'' Ralph Nader: ``Oops.'' And now, Hal Bernson, Los Angeles city councilman: ``Oops.''

It seems that the councilman was totally unaware that lawyers are actually paid money for giving advice. And it further seems that the councilman didn't realize that taking free advice from a lawyer who is also a lobbyist is unethical. Boy, what an oops.

But, wait. It gets better.

You see, the councilman wasn't asking questions like, ``Do I have to pay this parking ticket?'' or ``Can I be sued if I call a fellow council member an idiot?'' No, the free advice Councilman Bernson got from the law firm of Iverson, Yorkum, Papiano and Hatch was: ``How much trouble am I in with the Ethics Commission?''

You heard right; the councilman was already under investigation by the city Ethics Commission because he bought Hollywood Bowl tickets with money from his personal officeholder account.

Those accounts, budgeted taxpayer money under the complete control of each of the 15 City Council members, are supposed to be used in city service, for supporting projects in individual districts the rest of the council won't support. They are not supposed to buy orchestra seats for politicians.

Now, you might think that a politician being investigated for an ethics violation would go out of his or her way to avoid giving the Ethics Commission any more reasons to investigate him, but Councilman Bernson chose a more aggressive approach.

Already in trouble, he sought help from his old friend Neil Papiano, a registered lobbyist with the City Council.

And to no one's surprise, Papiano, rushed to help. He'd better. A lobbyist is effective only if he has the ear of the politicians and bureaucrats down at City Hall. And the lobbyist who says ``no'' to such requests will likely end up out of a job. So Papiano rushed. Rushed so fast, in fact, that no bill was ever sent. Oops, again, I guess.

Don't you wish you could get service like that from Jacoby and Myers?

Wouldn't it be nice to find lawyers so focused on justice that they didn't take the time to figure out if they were going to make enough money out of your case before they decided you deserved justice or not?

Don't you wish the City Hall politicians and bureaucrats lived in the same universe the rest of us do?

The Ethics Commission has ruled that the use of free legal services from a lobbyist/law firm violates ethical standards. Not that it's illegal, just that it stinks. I guess that's something.

On Monday, all parties reached an official agreement. Councilman Bernson had to cough up $3,000, this time out of his own pocket. And Papiano's law firm was fined $4,000.

It sounds like a lot of money, but to a lobbyist, 4,000 bucks is just the cost of doing business. They'll pass it on to their clients, who will see the fine as proof Papiano has access to City Hall. Which he still does, by the way.

And if fining Bernson $3,000 for violating ethics standards seems fair, where's the fine for arrogance, not to mention the bill for stupidity?

I guess the voters for whatever office the councilman seeks after term limits end his reign at City Hall will have to assess those fines.

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Photo: Hal Bernson