BATTLE OF THE SCREAM QUEENS; WE RATE TV'S HOTTEST ACTION STARS: LUCY LAWLESS AND SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR.Think Joan Crawford at her ``Mommie Dearest'' worst. Now, think of all that twisted fury unleashed in a whirl of kick boxing, sword-wielding and bone-crushing mayhem, and you get an idea what today's TV female action heroines are like. In the '60s we had ``The Avengers'' with Emma Peel Emma Peel was a fictional television spy played by Diana Rigg in the British 1960s adventure series The Avengers. She was born Emma Knight, the daughter of an industrialist, Sir John Knight. (Diana Rigg) and ``Honey West'' (starring Anne Francis in the title role), but their karate moves look positively dainty compared to the likes of today's TV terminators - Xena, Warrior Princess The concept of warrior princesses is relatively new in fiction but it became increasingly popular with the feminist movement's successes in female empowerment, gradually pushing the stereotype of a "damsel in distress" to the background. (Lucy Lawless Lucy Lawless (born Lucille Frances Ryan on March 29, 1968 in Mount Albert) is a New Zealand actress and singer best known for her role as Xena on the television series from 1995 to 2001. ) and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Michelle Gellar (born April 14, 1977) is an American actress. She is perhaps best known for her role as the fictional character Buffy Summers in the acclaimed television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, for which she received a Golden Globe Award nomination. ). Now, some fans prefer watching ``Buffy,'' which returns with new episodes at 8 p.m. Sept. 29 on KTLA KTLA KCBS TV in Los Angeles (Channel 5), with its teen-age star and her scorched-demon policy, while others favor ``Xena,'' which begins its new season at 9 p.m. Oct. 3, also on KTLA, with it slice-and-dice queen (we mean princess). To settle the debate (peaceably peace·a·ble adj. 1. Inclined or disposed to peace; promoting calm: They met in a peaceable spirit. 2. Peaceful; undisturbed. ) over which show is the baddest (like in good), we had our panel of experts (well, more like fanatics) dissect dissect /dis·sect/ (di-sekt´) (di-sekt´) 1. to cut apart, or separate. 2. to expose structures of a cadaver for anatomical study. dis·sect v. the strengths of each series: Best makeup effects (Featuring the creatures) ``Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' No, we're not taking about Gellar's eyeliner (it can be frightening), but some impressive creature makeup effects from vampires, werewolves, giant worm demons Demons See also devil; evil; ghosts; hell; spirits and spiritualism. ademonist one who denies the existence of the devil or demons. bogyism, bogeyism recognition of the existence of demons and goblins. and last, but not least, the half-fish Sunnydale High Sunnydale High is a fictional high school in Joss Whedon's TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Located in Sunnydale, it competes with Fondren High ("Some Assembly Required"). It was headed by Principal Bob Flutie early in the first season. swim team. The prosthetic pros·thet·ic adj. 1. Serving as or relating to a prosthesis. 2. Of or relating to prosthetics. prosthetic serving as a substitute; pertaining to prostheses or to prosthetics. effects for the Warrior Princess are ambitious (centaurs and other creatures) but don't seem to come off as well as the Slayer's show. Best actress (That's like asking who can smash faces better. OK, a legitimate question but we couldn't decide.) Draw Best costume (Finally, something important) ``Xena, Warrior Princess'' While colorful, Buffy's dizzying teen trash fashions are enough to make any mother race for a Valium or any viewer wondering if they're feeling the effects of bad sushi. The Warrior Princess wins this one with a classic brass-brassiere-and-leather ensemble. Best love interest (Sleeping with the enemy) ``Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' The Slayer's main squeeze main squeeze n. Slang One's primary romantic partner or sweetheart. is the vampire Angel (David Boreanaz), who has been cursed by having his human soul returned to him. This had the effect of making him a kinder and gentler vampire and one tormented puppy dog. Buffy fell hard and gave up her virginity to him (more or less discreetly off camera). Unknown to either, there was a clause in the curse that if Angel experienced ``one moment of true happiness,'' the curse would be lifted and his human soul would be taken away. Well, Angel experienced that moment during his night with the Slayer, and it turned him back to his vicious vampire self, vowing to kill Buffy, her family and friends (talk about being dumped the morning after!). Xena's love life is a little too extensive to catalog here. However, in her own beware-of-casual-sex episode, after a one-night stand with a young Julius Caesar, the ruler returns the next day to order her crucified and have her legs broken! Even Xena's gal pal, Gabrielle (Renee O'Connor), had her husband murdered by Callisto (more about her later) after their wedding night. These women just have to learn the B-movie golden rule: If you have sex, somebody has to die. Best special effects (Best bug-eyed monsters) ``Xena, Warrior Princess'' The effects house for ``Xena,'' Flat Earth Productions, produces some remarkable effects for a weekly syndicated TV show. Computer-generated dragons, winged harpies and even the watery god Poseidon regularly populate the series. Buffy seems only to manage an endless series of vampire disintegration scenes, and in the dramatic season finale, in which a door to hell is opened, the visual effect looked like an outtake out·take n. 1. a. A section or scene, as of a movie, that is filmed but not used in the final version. b. A complete version, as of a recording, that is dropped in favor of another version. 2. from a bad Drano commercial. Best villain (You can't keep a bad girl down) ``Xena, Warrior Princess'' Warrior Queen/Goddess Callisto (portrayed by actress Hudson Leick in a clawing cat scream of a performance) hurtles onto the screen like a Pakistani tactical nuke about to go critical. Callisto, who blames Xena for the death of her family, has dedicated her life to the destruction of the Warrior Princess and her nearest and dearest. A brief chronology of Callisto's career: orphaned at an early age; trained herself in the martial arts; raised an army to commit numerous atrocities, defeated by Xena in personal combat; imprisoned im·pris·on tr.v. im·pris·oned, im·pris·on·ing, im·pris·ons To put in or as if in prison; confine. [Middle English emprisonen, from Old French emprisoner : en- , escapes, commits more atrocities; defeated again by the Warrior Princess; murders Gabriel's husband; dies by drowning in quicksand quicksand State in which water-saturated sand loses its supporting capacity and acquires the characteristics of a liquid. Quicksand is usually found in a hollow at the mouth of a large river or along a flat stretch of stream or beach where pools of water become partly filled (while Xena watches); comes back from Hades Hades (hā`dēz), in Greek and Roman religion and mythology. 1 The ruler of the underworld: see Pluto. 2 The world of the dead, ruled by Pluto and Persephone, located either underground or in the far west beyond the ; switches bodies with Xena; sent back to Hades; switches bodies again with Xena; becomes immortal; disfigured dis·fig·ure tr.v. dis·fig·ured, dis·fig·ur·ing, dis·fig·ures To mar or spoil the appearance or shape of; deform. [Middle English disfiguren, from Old French desfigurer by fire; trapped underground; becomes a goddess; encased en·case tr.v. en·cased, en·cas·ing, en·cas·es To enclose in or as if in a case. en·case  ment n. in molten lava; assists in the murder of Xena's son; trapped in an alternate dimension and killed (don't you believe it) with a poisoned, goddess-slaying dagger in the season finale. Honorable mention has to go to Buffy for producing a larger number of interesting adversaries week in and week out, with honorable mention for Spike (James Marsters) and Drusilla (Juliet Landau), referred to by executive producer Joss Whedon as the ``Sid and Nancy of the vampire set.'' Best writing (You've got to be kidding) ``Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' Surprising to anybody who hasn't seen the show, ``Buffy'' is actually a very satiric look at the suburban high-school experience. Producer Joss Whedon has managed to keep the high-concept program consistently fresh and interesting, with good characterizations and plot twists. The best that can be said of ``Xena'' is that it has a no-holds-barred attitude. One episode featured an ancient Greek remake of ``The Poseidon Adventure'' (not the god, but the Irwin Allen disaster movie), while another was a complete musical. All of this gives it a zany but very uneven feel. Best action (Wham, bam, don't call me ma'am) ``Xena, Warrior Princess'' Although some viewers might find Xena's almost-surreal Hong Kong style of action too silly, there's no denying they've done some spectacular stunts. Most memorable: a seaside chariot race/battle between Xena and Callisto (again). Honorable mention goes to ``Slayer,'' whose more realistic Hollywood style of action imparts a greater air of menace. Best supporting cast (Suffering sidekicks) ``Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' The Slayer's show has a great secondary cast of characters: school librarian and Buffy's mentor Rupert Giles (Anthony Stewart Head), hapless sidekick Xander Harris (Nicholas Brendon), class brain and Buffy's best friend Willow Rosenburg (Alyson Hannigan), and spoiled cheerleader/Xander's love interest Cordelia Chase (Charisma Carpenter). Although sidekick Gabrielle (Renee O'Conner) has a growing cult following, Xena's supporting cast is about as helpful as an anchor thrown to a drowning Warrior Princess. Best weapons (A cut above....) ``Xena, Warrior Princess'' The Warrior Princess is very coolly equipped with broadsword, dagger, chakra (a razor-sharp Frisbee), bullwhip bull·whip n. A long, plaited rawhide whip with a knotted end. tr.v. bull·whipped, bull·whip·ping, bull·whips To whip or beat with a bullwhip. , hidden stiletto concealed between her breastplates and her war horse, Argo. By comparison, Buffy seems like a lamb (she doesn't even have a driver's license) being led to the slaughter with only a cross, holy water and a wooden stake. Occasionally she is armed with a crossbow but almost invariably in·var·i·a·ble adj. Not changing or subject to change; constant. in·var  i·a·bil misses and then has to rely on her martial-arts skills and some found object lying around the set to stake out her victim. Best season finale (All's well that doesn't end in hell) ``Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' In a very dramatic end to this year's season, Buffy reveals her secret identity to her mother and makes a pact with the devil by allying herself with Spike. Buffy's former vampire lover Angel regains his soul; however, in order to save the world, she's forced to send him back to hell at swordpoint. Despondent de·spon·dent adj. Feeling or expressing despondency; dejected. de·spon dent·ly adv. , she becomes a runaway, leaving Sunnydale. A lot certainly happened in ``Xena's'' finale. Callisto dies (again), Gabrielle's demon daughter dies (again), the world is saved (this happens pretty much every week), and Gabrielle dies (for the first time). Unfortunately, we've seen it all before. What the Warrior Princess really needs is a season finale in which her entire writing staff goes off the cliff. Score ``Xena, Warrior Princess'' 5.5 ``Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' 5.5 Our panel (before resorting to fisticuffs and flailing around on the floor) was unable to choose a clear winner. So we invite you, the readers, to break the tie by writing us with your vote. Xena vs. Buffy Daily News 21221 Oxnard St. Woodland Hills, Calif. 91367-5015 CAPTION(S): 2 Drawings Drawing: (1--Cover--Color) XENA vs. Buffy If TV's premier femme femme adj. Slang Exhibiting stereotypical or exaggerated feminine traits. Used especially of lesbians and gay men. n. 1. Slang One who is femme. 2. Informal A woman or girl. fatales squared off in a no-holds-barred, knock-down, drag-out cat fight to the finish, who would be left standing with the highest ratings? (2--Color) no caption (XENA vs. Buffy) Jon Gerung/Daily News |
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