BALANCING HOME LIFE, CAREER CAN BE TOUGH FOR ADULT STARS.

Byline: JULIA M. SCOTT

Staff Writer

LOS ANGELES - Karen Stagliano talks to her 6-year-old daughter about nearly everything -- how her brain works, how astronauts breathe in space -- but they never talk openly about mommy's job.

Stagliano, 32, formerly appeared in X-rated movies and now works as a spokeswoman for Evil Angel, an adult-film company in Van Nuys run by her husband, John.

"She definitely doesn't know that I was a model," Stagliano said of her daughter. "She's seen some pictures of me in bikini-type things, very innocuous, less racy than you would see in Maxim. She's seen that but doesn't think anything of it. She just says, 'Mommy, that's a pretty swimsuit."'

Stagliano, whose current job includes negotiating actors' salaries for sex scenes and selecting breast-baring ads, is one of hundreds of porn industry employees who also are parents.

Some are open about their occupation, sharing details of their jobs with friends, neighbors and their children's teachers. Others are discreet, saying they work for an independent filmmaker, publish a magazine or run an Internet business.

Many refused to be interviewed or photographed for this story, saying they feared losing custody of their kids, being ostracized by neighbors or targeted for crime.

Adult-entertainment workers maintain they can keep their work and family lives separate, but some critics dispute that claim.

"It's the height of absurdity for the industry to claim this kind of concern for children when they are the chief culprits that are pumping out the material to harm them," said Daniel Weiss, senior analyst for media and sexuality for Focus on the Family, a conservative Christian nonprofit group.

'Front-burner issue'

Fighting pornography is a "front-burner issue" at Focus on the Family, founded by evangelical leader James Dobson. The organization shares information and resources with activists, offers family counseling and advocates for stronger anti-pornography laws.

Raising children while compartmentalizing their day jobs is neither healthy for parents nor foolproof, Weiss said.

"If you talk to people in the industry, they will assure you that everything is healthy and normal in their household," he said. But "the potential for that parent's occupation to bleed over into that child's life, the family's life, I think it's unavoidable."

But Martha Kempner, a spokesman for the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S., said parents working in the adult-entertainment industry are just as capable of raising sexually healthy children as parents with other jobs.

"I think the issue for all parents is to be able to convey their own feelings about sexuality in an age-appropriate way," Kempner said.

"A younger child would be told Mommy and Daddy work in the movies," Kempner said.

Slightly older children would be told the movies are for grown-ups, and later that the movies are for adults because the people in the movies are naked.

"You would gradually increase the message until the child could understand," she said.

Jason Tucker is not sure when he'll tell his daughters that he runs Falcon Foto, one of the world's largest erotic picture libraries. Tucker, 33, also created the adult magazines Barely Legal and Hometown Girls. He lives in the San Fernando Valley.

Tucker's daughters -- two teens and a toddler -- think he runs a photo licensing business. He waits until they are asleep before he writes copy or views adult images because he does not want them exposed to any erotic content.

Tucker's protectiveness extends to mainstream media. He prohibits his girls from watching "South Park" and MTV's dating show "Next" and is careful about the Internet sites they visit.

"I am overly conscious," he said. "I have taken extra steps to ensure that they can't watch certain things on the television and look at on the Internet."

'Overly conscious'

Tucker is quick to defend his work as legal and lucrative, allowing him to take his family on far-flung vacations. Like many people working in the adult industry interviewed for this story, Tucker's belief in age-appropriate content helps him balance work and family. Making erotic movies and magazines is OK because they are intended for adults, not children, he said.

But when asked how he feels about his own children going into the business, Tucker hesitates.

"There are certain things I am comfortable with and certain things that I am not comfortable with," he said, adding that he'll deal with it when the time comes.

For now, he shields his children at home by screening TV shows and supporting the Association of Sites Advocating Child Protection, a nonprofit dedicated to eliminating child pornography on the Internet.

The group is heavily funded by the adult industry and counts as members people who oversee thousands of adult Web sites, spokesman Rick Louis said.

"The core of our mission is there's a difference between legal adult entertainment that is provided by our members and supporters," Louis said. " ... There's a huge difference between that and child pornography."

The adult-entertainment industry has gotten involved because it doesn't want what they do for a living to be confused with illegal activity, he added.

To protect minors, ASACP created an online label called an RTA that identifies adult content. Web filters, like Net Nanny, K9 Web Protection and Cyber Patrol, can recognize the label and block the site, depending on a user's preference. The labels are generated by content descriptions provided by people who run the sites.

Other labels, like those from the Family Online Safety Institute (formerly ICRA), denote violence, nudity, sexual content or language.

Options for parents

Parents who want to block specific Internet content have plenty of options. Parents fighting custody battles because they work in the adult-entertainment industry, however, have few legal resources.

Chris Potoski knows this firsthand.

Potoski, 35, who runs No Rivals Media, and his wife, Brandi, who acts in adult films, were on a business trip in New York when they got a frantic call from their nanny. Social workers were en route to their home in Raleigh, N.C., to search for inappropriate material and to interview their 4-year-old daughter.

Potoski's parents and in-laws had learned about their jobs from an interview on Howard Stern's radio show and wanted to remove their daughter from their home, he said.

"The search of our home led them to believe nothing was wrong," Potoski said.

But he wanted to be ready and started looking for a lawyer. They talked to 20 law firms before finding one that would represent them.

"I would ask lawyers, So you represent people in murder cases? You represent people in rape cases? But you're not willing to represent someone who works in a legal industry? That's shocking."

The experience prompted the Potoskis to form Parents In Adult, a Web site that lists lawyers interested in representing adult-entertainment workers. Parentsinadult.com also offers chat rooms for parents seeking advice and links to articles on DrSpock.com.

"Our goal with Parents In Adult is to provide resources for parents in the adult industry and information on how to become a better parent," Potoski said.

But when people really want help, they don't write in for fear their comments will be traced. Instead, Potoski said, they pick up the phone and call.

[e-mail]

[phone]

Protecting kids from porn

How to shield youngsters from sexually explicit content on the Internet:

Keep computers in a visible location. You will have an easier time monitoring the sites your children visit if the computer is in the family room and not in their bedroom behind closed doors.

Use filtering software. There are dozens to choose from, some of which are free.

Be involved in the initial setup if the computer is new. A savvy teenager might be able to set the computer up without you, but be involved so you can adjust the settings.

Review the sites your child has visited by checking histories and logs.

Know how much time your children spend on the Internet and ask them what sites they visit.

Create separate log-ins for each person who uses the computer. That will allow you to have different settings for adults and children.

SOURCES: Association of Sites Advocating Child Protection and the Family Online SafetyInstitute

CAPTION(S):

2 photos, box

Photo:

(1 -- color) Former adult performer Karen Stagliano plays with her 6-year-old daughter at Anthony C. Beilenson Park in Van Nuys. The daugther's face has been blurred to protect her identity.

(2 -- color) Karen Stagliano, here with her 6-year-old daughter, is one of hundreds of porn industry employees who have children.

Hans Gutknecht/Staff Photographer

Box:

Protecting kids from porn (see text)