BALANCE YOUR DUTY TO FRIENDS, MANAGEMENT.

Byline: KEN LLOYD

Q. Several of my friends at work asked me to sign a petition complaining about our manager. The petition will be sent to the company president. While our manager is a problem, I am hesitant to sign the petition because of difficulties this may cause for me later. However, I don't want my friends to be upset with me. What do you suggest I do? P.H.

A. While it is obviously important to be true to your friends, you need to be true to yourself first. If you have concerns or fears regarding possible negative ramifications associated with signing the petition, you should tell your friends exactly how you feel. And, you should not sign it.

If you sign the petition, the most likely scenario is that you are going to be thinking about it constantly, and there will be nothing any friend can say that will put your mind at ease.

It is true that your friends may become upset with you because you did not sign, even if you take a pop-psychology approach and tell them that you are against the petition and not against them. However, friendships are living entities, and they go through periods of sickness and health, closeness and distance, ups and downs. Your decision may alter your present relationship with these co-workers, but if the friendship is based on more than work expediency, there will soon be other decisions that can start the healing process.

On a broader basis, when employees start signing and sending petitions to top

management, it is actually a sign of larger communication problems. Your manager is one such problem, and your company's leadership appears to lack the accessibility, visibility and systems to be aware of it. The actions that top-side leadership takes in response to the petition will tell you a great deal about the company, just as the actions of your friends will tell you a great deal about the company you keep.

Q. I have a problem handling my frustration and anger over a co-worker who gets away with everything. As a secretarial team, we share responsibilities and managers, but she arrives late, takes an extra 30 minutes for lunch, fudges on her timecard, and is only able to do this because I'm such a good backup. If I kept her hours, I'd be in trouble, but managers adore and protect her. I've been here 15 years, but I'm thinking about quitting. How can I be happy here?

A. If you and our fellow secretary are in fact a team, you need to call a timeout to meet with her, go over the rules of the game, and let her know the score. You are going to feel much happier just by taking some direct action to deal with this so-called teammate.

Since most people enjoy being able to help others, you should open the conversation by telling her that you need her help. Rather than focusing on generalities, point out the specifics of her behavior that are creating problems for you. For example, avoid saying that it is unfair for her to come to work late, and instead let her see how her behavior is creating more work that you may not be able to complete. Be sure to add that if such work is not finished and management wants to know why, you will have no choice but to tell the truth. Wrap up the conversation by asking her what steps she can take to help correct the problem.

To the extent that she starts to act more like a teammate and less like an opponent, give her appropriate thanks and appreciation. And, if she plays the game her old way, continue to work diligently, while keeping your commitment to give management the facts if your work runs late.

If you do not take any action to deal with her, the frustration you are now experiencing will increase, and this will ultimately interfere with your performance and success. In addition to telling this co-worker the score, you should try to focus more on the aspects of the job that you enjoyed in the past, particularly your work per se. One of the primary sources of happiness and satisfaction at work comes from sensing a high level of personal productivity.