BAILIFF'S HUMOR EASES THE STRESS; COURT'S VISITORS GET DOSE OF ONE-LINERS.Byline: Karen Karen Any member of a variety of tribal peoples of southern Myanmar (Burma). Constituting the second largest minority in Myanmar, the Karen are not a unitary group in any ethnic sense, as they differ among themselves linguistically, religiously, and economically. Thacker Community Columnist columnist, the writer of an essay appearing regularly in a newspaper or periodical, usually under a constant heading. Although originally humorous, the column in many cases has supplanted the editorial for authoritative opinions on world problems. People lined up every morning in the Lancaster Lancaster, city, England Lancaster (lăng`kəstər), city (1991 pop. 43,902) and district, county seat of Lancashire, NW England, on the Lune River. Courthouse hallway outside Division 5 usually bear three burdens. They have a traffic ticket or tickets and chances are there'll be fines to pay. They are about to stand before the traffic court commissioner and odds are they have no idea what they should do or what she'll do. They have to wait in a narrow, crowded hallway before entering a small courtroom, sardinelike, with 80 other hallway denizens. There is, however, someone who tries to put them at ease and provide a little humor humor, according to ancient theory, any of four bodily fluids that determined man's health and temperament. Hippocrates postulated that an imbalance among the humors (blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile) resulted in pain and disease, and that good health was . That is Deputy Ricky Stamps, bailiff bailiff Officer of some U.S. courts whose duties include keeping order in the courtroom and guarding prisoners or jurors in deliberation. In medieval Europe, it was a title of some dignity and power, denoting a manorial superintendent or royal agent who collected fines and . ``If you provide community service you have to be there,'' Stamps explains to the crowd in his daily 9 a.m. speech outside the door to Commissioner Catherin DeVoe's court. ``Unless you've died and can provide a certificate of death to the court, you be there. That death certificate - it has to have that seal on it though.'' Stamps sprinkles one-liners through his morning explanation of court procedures, of which he estimates 50 percent to 60 percent of his audience know nothing about. ``He makes the morning bearable bear·a·ble adj. That can be endured: bearable pain; a bearable schedule. bear ,'' said Assistant Court Administrator Fran Burnett. Here's a sample of Stamps' stuff: ``You can plead plead v. 1) in civil lawsuits and petitions, the filing of any document (pleading) including complaints, petitions, declarations, motions, and memoranda of points and authorities. guilty, not guilty or no contest. No insanity pleas Noun 1. insanity plea - (criminal law) a plea in which the defendant claims innocence due to mental incompetence at the time plea of insanity criminal law - the body of law dealing with crimes and their punishment . Not today - you can do that later. ``You are in the right place. You don't have to check in with anybody - especially me. ``You may be able to attend traffic school if you have not attended in the last 18 months and your speed was under 150 mph. If it was another speed you may want to seek a pilot's license. ``No proof of insurance, second offense can be about $3,000. The third offense I won't even talk about - you guys might get up and leave. ``Some of you may need more time to pay. That's not a problem with the court, though that may be a problem for you. ``No explanations, zero explanations. We don't want to hear your explanations. ``Some may be leaving out the same door you walked through. Some of you may not. But I'll take you to that special place where they'll give you the special food, the special clothes, with special transportation - all compliments com·pli·ment n. 1. An expression of praise, admiration, or congratulation. 2. A formal act of civility, courtesy, or respect. 3. of the county. Don't worry, we'll take care of you.'' Remarked one of the people waiting in line: ``I hope the judge is that funny.'' When Stamps began working as a court bailiff nine years ago, the Lancaster courtroom was not nearly as busy and the commissioner gave most of the explanation about how the system worked. Now the traffic court gets 60 to 80 people every morning. Stamps does a lot of the talking, trying to keep the crowd informed and occupied by explaining their options and the rules. ``Some people really don't understand the system,'' he said. ``Every now and then you'll get a person who thinks they're going to jail for a nonjailable offense.'' The bailiff is often the person the uninformed pull aside to ask questions. Stamp said he tries to give out as much information as possible. ``I just treat people like I want to be treated,'' he said. CAPTION(S): Photo PHOTO Bailiff Ricky Stamps, in uniform, mixes humor with instruction on procedures. Jeff Goldwater/Daily News |
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