BABIES' SLEEP PATTERNS VARY FROM CHILD TO CHILD.

Byline: Liz Doup Knight-Ridder Tribune News Wire

So, you haven't slept through a night since the baby arrived?

Take heart. For more than a decade, Dr. Richard Ferber, author of the seminal book ``Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems,'' has been the guy parents turn to when it comes to babies who won't sleep. But when his own two sons were babies 20 years ago, he did the same things he now tells parents not to do.

``I didn't know any more than any other parent,'' says Ferber. ``I held my children and rocked them to sleep.''

Over the years, Ferber, now 52, studied infants' and children's sleep habits and developed his own theories about why they have problems and what to do.

Now director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital in Boston, Ferber says that by age 3 months, most healthy babies are sleeping through the night. If that's not happening by 5 or 6 months, Ferber says it's time to examine your bedtime rituals.

It's normal, he says, for children to awaken during the night. The problem for them is knowing how to go back to sleep. A baby can't count sheep or watch TV to make him drowsy. He must learn to fall asleep alone in his crib and to be able to do that each time he wakes during the night.

Ferber believes healthy children shouldn't be rocked or nursed to sleep and are better off if they're not soothed with a bottle, pacifier, radio or TV.

Here's more of what the kiddie sleep guru has to say about children's sleep problems:

Q: Let's start from the beginning. Why don't children sleep?

A: Lots of reasons. Maybe parents are putting the child to bed too early. Maybe the child is napping too much during the day. Maybe they're frightened at night and need to be reassured. Maybe they're testing your limits and need firmness and consistent limits.

Q: What common mistakes do parents make trying to get their children to sleep?

A: I don't think of what parents do as ``mistakes.'' Often, what works for one child won't for another, but it's not a mistake. It's just not working for that youngster. Still, a parent should avoid stimulating activities at bedtime. That isn't the moment to tickle your child silly or throw him in the air. You don't want a lot of chaos - the TV or music playing loudly, people running around.

Q: Will keeping your child on a schedule help him sleep better?

A: Think of it this way: A wildly varied schedule is like jumping from coast to coast, back and forth, several times a week. You know what that does to you. A schedule - going to bed and getting up at the same time, napping at the same time - helps a child know what to expect.

Q: Many working parents want to keep children up late so they can spend time with them. Is that a problem?

A: Not if parents are consistent about it. Consistency is the key to a schedule. Parents shouldn't keep a child up to 10 one night, put him to bed at 7 the next, then 9 the next. They also need to make sure their child gets enough sleep. If they keep their children up late, then don't get them up too early. Typically, newborns need about 16-1/2 hours of sleep a day, decreasing to 13 hours daily for a 2-year-old.

Q: Once you put your child to bed and they're crying - or they wake up during the night and cry - what then?

A: Parents need to understand that children wake up during the night. That's normal. The problem arises when they don't know how to get back to sleep on their own. If they're crying, you check on them at intervals that you gradually increase over time. You verbally reassure them that you're there and that everything is OK, or you lightly touch them and then you leave. It takes a few nights, but eventually the child learns to go to sleep on his own.

Q: What about a sick child who needs to be held and comforted?

A: Children learn new sleep habits very quickly. That's both bad and good news. It's bad news when they're sick because they quickly get used to falling asleep in a parents' arms. But it's good news when they're healthy again. In a night or two, they'll get back in the habit of falling asleep on their own.

Q: With all the battles that revolve around getting a child to sleep, can there be psychological damage later on?

A: We don't know because we can't really do psychological studies. There is potential for trouble if parents are so angry about sleeping problems that their attitude carries over into the day. If they're angry and tense and giving the message that the child is bad or inadequate, that's a concern. You want bedtime to be a positive experience, so that the feeling carries over into the next day, and everybody feels better about themselves.

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Photo: Babies can't count sheep or watch TV to become drowsy. They must learn to fall asleep alone and be able to do that each time they wake during the night.