Are you a man-hater?; DO YOU SEDUCE MEN BUT SECRETLY HATE THEM? ANSWER OUR QUIZ TO SEE IF YOU LOVE OR LOATHE . . .
These are all classic signs of the man-hater, writes our psychologist Martin Lloyd-Elliott, and can be devastating to the recipient.
Man-haters invariably prefer the company of women, and will go out of their way to riducule and crush men. They may lead men on until ultimately slapping them down.
They will also enjoy watching feminist comediennes who verbally castrate men, mocking their behaviour and revealing the cracks of weakness in their facades.
Answer these 10 simple questions to find out if you're a man-hater . . . and why.
1 Do you perceive men as always pushing for sex? You feel they are only after you for one thing. And you know that a man's will to conquer must be resisted and, if possible, defeated.
2 Were you bullied by your father, brother or other key male figures in your childhood?
3 When you asked your mother for her permission to do something did she say: "Go and ask your father"?
4 Do you always have a new lover before leaving your existing relationship?
5 How did your father behave towards your mother? Did she suffer because of him? What does that make you feel now about what she went through and what you went through?
6 Did your mother put a spell on your opinion of men: for example, did she have an often-repeated saying such as: "All men are bastards", or "Never trust a man, they'll betray you in the end".
7 Do you have a fear of commitment and, if so, do you leave a relationship before it gets too heavy?
8 Do you find it difficult to acknowledge how much you love someone?
9 Do you use men as tools to: further your own aims; to make you feel more confident; to score points over rival females; as a springboard to getting other, more desirable, lovers; to feel more secure by filling a feeling of emptiness inside you?
10 Is attack your best defence? Do you end relationships when you fear he may be withdrawing his love in order to protect yourself?
How many YES answers did you give?
7-10 You hate men, and perhaps with good reason. However, consider re-examining your responses and patterns around men by questioning the origin of your prejudices. You may well be causing yourself unnecessary heartache by acting out your parents' problems - not yours.
4-6 You have had many bad experiences with men, but the prospects are not all bad. A few negative experiences does not mean all men deserve hate.
0-3 You have a loving disposition towards men despite realising the genuine problems of inequality that continue to cause women so much grief.
THE REASON WHY
Women become men-haters for many reasons. The first is usually based in childhood. Think about your family history - how aggressive were your parents with each other? What role models did they set you? Ask yourself how much of your behaviour is a re-enactment of their patterns? Also question yourself about your relationship with your father. Do you act out some of the unresolved feelings you have towards him?
Another reason for man hating is the imbalance of the sexes. Some women feel envious of men - their opportunities, power, strength and privilege. Previous hurts can also be the cause: women who had early negative experiences (such as violent or forced sex) can feel so betrayed they seek their revenge.
Then there are some women who hate men to their very cores and men have good reason to fear their wrath. But we should not blame women: many men behave so badly towards women their hate is understandable. But whatever the cause, hate is destructive and both sexes need to work at breaking the prejudices.
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|Publication:||Sunday Mirror (London, England)|
|Date:||Sep 29, 1996|
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