Appearances Count: Restrooms, Women's Attire, Nakedness.

Yearning for Polyesters

The St. Tammany, La., school board found itself struggling over such fashion mysteries as the definitions of walking shorts and "skorts" when an impromptu exhibition of two female teachers put an end to the discussion of a new employee dress code.

The board then adopted the new rules on clothing proposed by Superintendent Lenny Monteleone.

Skorts, which are shorts that look like a skirt because they have a panel across the front, are deemed acceptable attire under the code. Walking shorts, which are defined as longer and looser-fitting, are not, except for field trips or teacher work days.

Teacher Barbara Olinger, who showed off her skort worn with a blazer, had begged the board not to ban walking shorts because she had 187 pairs in her closet at home. She said her wardrobe helps her develop a rapport with her junior high students, according to The Times-Picayune.

A Flushing Incentive

A sign spotted recently by Fred Schouten, curriculum director in Peotone, Ill., hanging in a restroom in a suburban Chicago high school:

"Keep this restroom clean, and we will keep it open!"

Deserving of Comment

Women who've cracked the top job in local school administration sometimes encounter reactions they've never imagined. Consider these two:

* Ruth Love, former superintendent in Chicago and Oakland: "When I was Chicago's superintendent in the early '80s, I had reporters asking me who I was dating. They wrote about what I wore or [about] my hair style. There was this expectation that I, as a woman, would wither up under criticism or just say, 'I'm getting out of here."'

* Yvonne Katz, superintendent in Beaverton, Ore., a suburb of Portland, and former superintendent in San Antonio: "Entire articles have been written about my jewelry. Toward the end of the story, the reporter might say, 'Oh and by the way, she has a good track record as superintendent."'

(Source: The San Francisco Examiner)

The Naked Truth

It's the latest presidential coverup and it involves several Georgia school districts.

They have decided to touch up with matching paint a textbook reproduction of the famous portrait, "Washington Crossing the Delaware," for fear that 5th graders would misinterpret ornamental orbs of George Washington's watch fob across his right thigh to be the general's private parts on display.

Teacher aides spent two weeks with paintbrushes to touch up the offending page in more than 2,300 copies of the social studies textbook United States in Modem Times.

"Kindergarteners wouldn't even notice," one elementary school principal told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "But 5th graders? It would make their year."

A Heavy Burden

The staff at Highland Middle School in Bellevue, Wash., became so concerned about the weight of backpacks on their students' slight frames that they brought in a chiropractor.

But he didn't provide any hands-on treatment. He just counseled the youngsters how to tote their packs properly.

At Least They Don't Bite

A school board in Japan is turning to a pair of robotic dogs to cure students of their truancy.

The board in Odawara in the Kanagawa Prefecture snapped up two of the 3,000 hot-selling robots put up for domestic sale last summer by Sony Corp. Known as the AIBO robotic dog, they are programmed to learn, develop a memory and express joy and sorrow. A robotic dog playing with a ball will express happiness if patted on the head.

The board's research director told The Yomiuri Shimbun, a Tokyo newspaper, that students who skip school regularly might be encouraged to return by the chance to play with the robots.

Responded a Sony official: "Machines are no substitute for living things."

Reassuring Headline

From the St. Paul, Minn., Pioneer Press:

"No kids lost on first day in new school in Farmington"

Short humorous anecdotes, quips, quotations and malapropisms for this column relating to school district administration and school board governance should be addressed to: Editor, The School Administrator, 1801 N. Moore St., Arlington, Va. 22209-1813. Fax: [phone].