Any takers for dollars for do-nothings?Byline: Sid McKeen COLUMN: WRY & GINGER I suppose it was predictable years ago when the government decided to pay farmers for not growing certain crops that it would one day spend billions of our taxpayers' dollars to bail out failing financial institutions. And the experiment with Wall Street, right or wrong, probably encouraged Congress and the administration to go on to launch their so-called Cash for Clunkers, a $3 billion program under which owners of cars that should have been junked got up to $4,500 apiece to turn them in for new ones. My question, I guess, is why stop there? Rewarding failure on a regular basis and on a grand scale - let's name the overall campaign Lucre LUCRE. Gain, profit. Cl. des Lois Rom. h.t. for Losers - would provide the folks in Washington with a brand new and vastly challenging plaything. For starters, they could establish a program offering cash grants to students who flunk out flunk Informal v. flunked, flunk·ing, flunks v.intr. To fail, especially in a course or an examination. v.tr. 1. To fail (an examination or course). 2. of college. Cash for Flunkers. The government already provides financial assistance to needy students who pass with good grades. Why should a few F's deprive the others? How about federally-sponsored interest-free loans for all those borrowers who signed up for a host of credit cards and now find it impossible to meet the monthly payments? Call it Dough for Deadbeats. A federal subsidy for people who simply refuse to work called Bread for Loafers “Penny loafer” redirects here. For the collegiate a cappella group, see Penny Loafers. Loafers or penny loafers are low, leather step-in shoes usually with moccasin construction, with broad flat heels. They first appeared in the mid 1930s. . Or possibly Smackers for Slackers. Maybe a plan to provide spending money for prisoners in jails unable to support their habits? Coin for Cons. Financial aid surreptitiously sur·rep·ti·tious adj. 1. Obtained, done, or made by clandestine or stealthy means. 2. Acting with or marked by stealth. See Synonyms at secret. paid to defense lawyers who blow cases brought by the government. Shekels for Shysters. Large layouts of money for foreign governments slow to do things for their own people but quick to accept handouts from us: Moolah for Moochers. Enough, already. It may be that I'm just jealous of this latter-day largesse lar·gess also lar·gesse n. 1. a. Liberality in bestowing gifts, especially in a lofty or condescending manner. b. Money or gifts bestowed. 2. Generosity of spirit or attitude. the feds have been cooking up. As far as Cash for Clunkers goes, I could just be envious of modern-day owners of beat-up cars for getting paid big money for crates that would have gone straight to the junkyard back in the day. For a couple of years in the late '60s, I got around in a used Rambler ram·bler n. 1. One that rambles: tourists and Sunday ramblers on the village streets; a conversational rambler. 2. A type of climbing rose having numerous red, pink, or white flowers. , a popular American Motors American Motors Corporation (AMC) was an American automobile company formed on January 14 1954 by the merger of the Nash-Kelvinator Corporation and the Hudson Motor Car Company. At the time, it was the largest corporate merger in U.S. history, valued at US$198 million ($1. make. The trouble turned out to be that the engine had a so-called "soft" block. It began burning oil like a blue streak - literally. On one occasion, returning to Massachusetts from a Maine vacation, it used so much oil that I would pull in at gas stations, get a couple of dollars' worth of gas and ask for an oil check. Each time, it took at least two quarts. I swapped the thing as soon as I got home and got zilch for my trade-in. I don't know Don't know (DK, DKed) "Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party. now whether I'd have been solvent enough then to buy a new car, but I'd have loved to qualify for that $4,500. Too late to do anything about it now, I'm sure. I'll just have to wait for the government to come up with Petrodollars Petrodollars The money that oil exporters receive from selling oil and then deposit into Western banks. Notes: Petrodollars refers to the money that Middle Eastern countries and members of OPEC receive as revenue from Western nations and then put back into those same for Procrastinators. You can reach Sid McKeen at sidmck@earthlink.net. |
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