And for a kick off; Blow me .. a hard tale to swallow.Always one to keep readers informed of the latest technology, I bring news of a device which could stop a lot of people from drinking and driving. A mate of mine got one for Christmas and he tells me it gives a very accurate assessment of the amount of alcohol in your bloodstream blood·stream n. The flow of blood through the circulatory system of an organism. bloodstream the blood flowing through the circulatory system in the living body. . It's called a bevvometer and all you do is fit it on your car dashboard. If you've had a drink, you blow into it and the battery-operated machine will assess whether or not you should start up the ignition - or phone a taxi. A positive boon for the modern-day footballer, although it only does drink, not drugs. Anyway, the first day my mate had it, he went for a pint after work. He had one lager and reckoned he'd be OK. Sure enough, he got into his car, blew into the bevvometer and after 10 or 15 seconds a booming voice announced: "You are fit to drive." Off he went, safe in the knowledge he wouldn't be breaking the law. Next night he downed two-and-a-half pints and felt he might be dodgy dodgy - Synonym with flaky. Preferred outside the US . He was right. Blowing into the machine brought the response: "You are not fit to be in charge of a vehicle." The bus station beckoned and he got home in one piece. Magic! Next night he had one or two over the eight at a colleague's party and arranged for someone to drive him home. "Take my car," he said,"and I'll show you my new toy." Safely tucked into the passenger seat, he blew into the bevvometer for the grand demonstration. Suddenly all hell broke loose. A loud siren sounded and a Dalek-style voice said: "Attention! Attention! An Arsenal player is stealing your car!" Joking aside, the Arsenal players are getting pretty fed up with all the bevvy bevvy Noun pl -vies Dialect 1. an alcoholic drink 2. a session of drinking [probably from Old French bevee, buvee drinking] jibes. But the latest one was a bit different - it supposedly came from Gunners ace Dennis Bergkamp Dennis Nicolaas Maria Bergkamp (born May 10, 1969 in Amsterdam) is a retired Dutch professional footballer. At club level he played for Ajax, Internazionale, Arsenal and also represented the Netherlands at international level. . A Dutch magazine had an article on the forward in which he is alleged to have said some Arsenal players smell of drink when they turn up in the morning for training. Angry team boss Arsene Wenger hit back and denied there is any kind of drinking problem at Highbury. He pointed out: "The team themselves voted to get rid of alcohol from the players' lounge." So what's new about that? They've been doing it for years. I have a file this thick (you can't see, but I'm holding my fingers an inch apart) of letters with allegations that Celtic keeper Jonathan Gould This article is about the Scottish goalkeeper. For the television presenter, see Jonathan Gould (television presenter). Jonathan Gould (born July 18, 1968 in Paddington, London, England) is a former Scotland goalkeeper. plays Grant Mitchell Grant Mitchell may refer to:
Tim Malloy, from Belfast, Peter Dornan, of Crookston, and Tommy Marr, of Toryglen, are among the allegators. When I called to check, I got Jonathan's answering machine. It said: "Just nicked down the Old Vic Old Vic, London repertory company and theater. The Old Vic theater opened in 1818 as the Coburg, and was renamed the Royal Victoria in 1833, soon familiarized to the Old Vic. with Tiffany Tiffany, Tiffanie (UK) a semi-longhaired version of the Burmese cat. It has a fine, silky coat in many colors. . If your call's about sumfink urgent, get me on the mobile dog and bone." I didn't bother ... the whole thing's obviously nonsense. RIVALS Real Madrid and Deportivo wanted to take Brazilian striker Fabri to Spain. While he was out of town, sneaky Deportivo took a contract to his home and got his MUM to sign it. Fabri says it's not valid and that he'll join Real. I hope FIFA FIFA International Association Football Federation [French Fédération Internationale de Football Association] FIFA n abbr (= Fédération Internationale de Football Association) → FIFA f now force Deportivo to play his mum. ASKED about the talks to make Diego Maradona Diego Armando Maradona (born October 30, 1960) is an Argentine former footballer. He played in four World Cups and received the FIFA award of Player of the century (People's choice) after being voted in 2000 in an international internet fan poll as the best football player of all president and coach of Italian club Napoli, his manager, Guillermo Coppola, said they had proved "positive". There again, Diego's minders may never have heard the word "negative". |
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