An interview with the Actor.

He's been touted as one of the finest actors of his generation. Combining box office successes with edgier, riskier projects, he has shown extraordinary range for someone his age. He's beautiful, intelligent, and savvy. He's also locked in the closet. I imagine myself in conversation with him, in the privacy of his home ...

Barclay: You have a lot of admirers--of both sexes.

The Actor: You're telling me. I wish I had time to sleep with 'em!

[He laughs, pulls on a beer.]

How many people know you're gay?

I'm not gay. I'm bisexual. Try-sexual, actually.

You'll "try" anything?

You got it.

So you don't want to be pegged as gay?

I don't want to be pegged as anything.

Is that internalized homophobia talking?

No. It's externalized homophobia talking. Look, I'm not an idiot. If I were to reveal that much of myself, it would limit the roles I could do ...

Has it limited Rupert Everett? Or Anne Heche?

Yes, as a matter of fact. And they don't make the kinds of movies I want to make. Or earn the kind of dough I do. I can't afford to have casting directors, producers, directors sitting around eliminating me from their short lists because of who I sleep with.

You've been listening to your agents.

Maybe they're right. People hate fags, you know that. And they certainly don't trust them in romantic roles. And they'll never get my sexuality right anyway ... Want a joint?

No thanks, I don't get high.

I have to.

Because?

Because I feel too damn much!

[He lights a thick blunt, inhales.]

That's what makes you such a powerful actor.

Look, I'm not an activist. I'm an actor. I play roles. I live and die by people's perceptions of me. Sure, I could come out tomorrow, stand up at some GLAAD dinner, and tell the world my business, but why should I? There's way too much at stake.

Do you think it might help some kid struggling with his sexuality--

That's not my problem! My whole life has been about struggling to get where I am, and do you think I'm gonna jeopardize it by--

Letting the world know who you really are?

They don't need to know who I really am! If anything, that'll hurt me and my work.

Are you ashamed of your sexuality?

I'm not ashamed of anything. I just know what they'll say and don't want to go there. Look, you're a director. Nobody cares if you're gay or not because you're behind the camera. So write your little Advocate pieces, do your little "out" appearances, and leave me the fuck alone!

I'm not trying to get you to come out. Just trying to understand where you're at.

[The Actor stares for a long beat, then blows on his joint.]

Once I slept with [he names a superstar actor], who I didn't even know was gay. I was maybe 17 then, and he told me something I've never forgotten: "Don't ever let them know. It'll all be over faster than you can say `Rock Hudson.'"

You're depressing me.

[Laughs] Sorry, it's the truth.

Do you think things might change? If two or three actors of your caliber came out and Hollywood started to understand that acting is acting and one's sexual orientation is just another fact, like hair or eye color, that recedes into the role? Do you think you could make a difference, in the position you're in today, where you don't need more money or fame but may need the freedom to be who you are, wherever you go? Do you think maybe the people who hate you because you're not like them might be the people you don't need to work with anyway? Do you think you would ever be brave enough to risk a bigger piece of the pie for peace of mind?

[The Actor takes a last long pull on his roach, then stubs it out. He looks at me with the cool, seductive look that's made him millions.]

No.

[I shake my head and leave.]