Alison's diary.

Byline: Alison

Monday

Get call from pal Tracy, who is in her car at the side of a river that used to be a road in Aberdeenshire. 'I can't speak, I'm working,' I explain. 'Alison, speak to me. I'm stuck here waiting for the water to go down. That could take days'. 'Sorry, bye bye'. Two minutes later the phone goes again. It's pal Gordon, who can't leave his house in Stonehaven as there is two feet of water outside. I give him Tracy's number so they can swap stories and let me get on with my life. Huffily he agrees. See news later on TV and feel guilty. What is going on with the climate?

Tuesday

Have joined a swimming pool club thing and not been since. Usual. Have five charity events to host this month and am still podging. Bummer. Big bummer. All my own fault, of course. Someone gives me a box of chocolates for looking after their kids this morning. I put it in a drawer, thinking I'll leave it there until Christmas. Aye, right. Less than six hours later it is half eaten. Put it away again and less than three hours later the box is empty and I am lying on the couch, sick of myself. Dave comes in, picks up the box and says 'Yum chocolates' before clocking the only ones left are marzipans. We exchange a knowing look as I groan and turn over. Ex binge-drinker now binge-eater shocker.

Wednesday

Ironically on Fred MacAulay show today talking about diets and the fact that geezers don't know what to say to women when they are talking about dieting. Fact ? no matter what they say we don't believe them. 'You don't need to diet,' he offers. The response is the evil eye. You are lovely the way you are. The response is the eyebrow raised with accompanying evil eye. You look like a young Sophia Loren. The response is a guffaw before getting the optician on speed dial and shouting, 'Get out of my sight'. They are right, they are in a no-win situation. Eating fruit today as penance for yesterday's chocoholic attack. Have lost the will to go on by 4pm so have four fish fingers and peas to keep me going until tea time.

Thursday

Meet up with Dynamite for a drink. We hit Clark's Bar. I haven't been here for years and the first person I bump into is an old pal from Aberdeen so we very nearly get waylaid but determination wins out as we are off to launch of Carrie Mac's album Believe. Scotland has spawned a fair number of great singer/songwriters and this girl is absolutely brilliant. She won Radio Forth's One to Watch. I was round at a friend's house when he put on her version of Use and I swear I was in tears. It was amazing. Her album is all her own stuff so if you have moment go and listen to her on her website www.myspace.com/carriemacmusic. I'm sure you will be impressed as another Scottish lassie heads for the big time.

Friday

Meeting to talk about the St Columba's Hospice Charity Couture Show on Wednesday, which I am introducing. There is a coat made of 1000 poppies and individual 'dolly bags' which will be packed to the gunnels with goodies for those who go along. It will be a great night out and all proceeds go to help build a new hospice. There are shows at 5pm and 7pm. Later, take niece and nephew to see UP 3D. I may be the last person in Scotland to see it. I love it. Get teary at the start. Get myself under control but am soon off again, which results in wandering the cinema with panda eyes as kids pretend not to know me. I know, it's just a cartoon ? sob.

Saturday

Watch FlashForward on tape from Monday. I have no idea what is going on. I stop and start the recording and ask a series of questions which causes a row as Teenwolf gets impatient. 'Why can't you follow it?' 'There are too many people, too many storylines. Why are the crows dying? Why has that guy got a blue hand and what was the name of that film Joseph Fiennes was in a few years ago?' To prevent an international incident we watch X Factor. I like Olly, Dave likes Stacey, Louis prefers his Playstation. Makea big bowl of popcorn which keeps us all rooted to the couch for 10 minutes flat. Family Saturday night ? a joy.