Alison's Diary; Watch hunky Calvin Klein model-types swim at pool. Ask if they're a team. 'Aye, Scotland's rugby team.' Oops, didn't recognise them with their clothes off.Byline: ALISON CRAIG Monday My dad and I are going out on the town - we're off to see Michael Buble at the Edinburgh Playhouse. I make tea for the rest of the family before we rush out the door at 6pm for a quick pizza. But all the restaurants are full, so we settle for a bar snack and a bottle of white wine. Very civilised. After our drinks, we realise we still have plenty of time, so we decide to have another bottle before whizzing over for the start of the show at 7.30pm. The warm-up act was a stand-up comedian who was telling jokes Dad claimed were older than the hills. But finally, Buble came on. First, he told the crowd that his old manager was in the audience. "Vivienne, are you here?", he asked. She put her hand up and he invited her out and gave her a bottle of red wine to enjoy during the performance. He then told everyone she used to boss him around, telling him he was not s*** but s***e. Hearing an American singer shouting s***e at the top of his voice was hilarious. He wasa great showman and afterwards, Dad the dangerous one and retired back to the pub to carry on where we had left off. Oops Tuesday Wake up with very hot feet. On closer inspection, I realise I am still wearing my boots. Stylish. My bleary blear·y adj. blear·i·er, blear·i·est 1. Blurred or dimmed by or as if by tears: bleary eyes. 2. Vaguely outlined; indistinct. 3. Exhausted; worn-out. eyes are then aided on their road to opening by Dave, who thrusts a cup of tea at me. "Oh God," I groan, "I'm supposed to be doing a body pump class with Catherine". "Body Pump!", laughs Dave. "More like stomach pump stomach pump n. An apparatus for removing the contents of the stomach by means of suction. ." Make an emergency call to cancel and apologise for being a uselessharridan then make a gallon of tea and try to focus on writing. Yeuch! It turns out Dad was also late getting up. I ask him to stay away from me for a while - he may be 77 but he is party man deluxe and clearly I can't take the pace. What an amateur Wednesday Feel more human today but look like a puff adder puff adder: see viper. . In fact, when first raise the imperial body it seems as though someone has Sellotaped a couple of Wee Willie Wee Willie can refer to:
I work until lunchtime and then, unable to stand my own company another second, phone my pal Jenny and head off to meet her for a bowl of soup. "A glass of wine?", the waitress asks. I look at Jenny sadly - don't think am up to the job. "Ohcome on," she cajoles me. resist and stay with the soft drinks. It is not self control - found out a 175ml glass of house white is pounds 4.20. There is no way I would pay that! Outraged, I nibble Half a byte (four bits). (data) nibble - /nib'l/ (US "nybble", by analogy with "bite" -> "byte") Half a byte. Since a byte is nearly always eight bits, a nibble is nearly always four bits (and can therefore be represented by one hex digit). my sandwich and we leave soon after Thursday My friend Karen asks me to go and lounge around in the spa with her - what a treat! We meet at 10am, get into our swimsuits and go and flump around. We sit at the spa's rooftop plunge pool overlooking Edinburgh when we notice a number of incredibly attractive, amazingly fit young men swimming past. Naturally, we are a little distracted - it is like a Calvin Klein campaign have arrived just to make our day a little brighter. Unable to keep my mouth shut, I have to ask, "Are you a team of some sort?". "Yes," one replied. "A rugby team." "Ooooh, which one?", I ask. "Scotland," he replied. did consider drowning myself there and then."I am so sorry. am a rugby fan," I say rather unconvincingly. My pal then pipes up, "She didn't recognise you with your clothes off!" Oh, the shame Friday Lunchtime meeting, which ends with a delicious meal. Once we've paid the bill, we can't actually leave to get to the car as it is so wet - it is as if someone is pouring buckets of water from the sky. The weather has gone completely mad - it is like a tropical downpour. The staff generously offer us a brolly to get us to the car, which I still have in the back seat. Oops. Sorry, am not a kleptomaniac klep·to·ma·ni·a n. An obsessive impulse to steal regardless of economic need. [Greek kleptein, to steal + -mania. . I will take it back Saturday Looking back on the number of times I have been out eating and drinking this week, it is no mystery why the top of my jeans are now covered by my own flesh. am sick of myself and something must be done. But what? I have tried every diet on the planet and still remain built for comfort, not for speed. If I add up my calorific calorific generating heat measurable in calories. intake this week in wine it is probably more than my weekly allowance of all food. I know I have said it before but I am definitely on the wagon. No, this time I really do mean it. I haven't darkened the gymnastic doorstep for weeks - I just can't seem to motivate myself - but Christmas is coming "Christmas Is Coming" is a nursery rhyme and Christmas carol (frequently sung as a round) with lyrics as follows:
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