Adoptive parents respond.

We are white parents of adoptive African-American children and one of us has an African-American adoptive sister. It's hard to be critical of Lisa Lerner's "Becoming a Mother, Questioning Everything" in the July/August issue, since criticism implies that we have it all figured out, which we certainly don't.

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But we definitely had reactions to the piece. Lerner goes through the process of believing that race makes no difference, to being shocked at her own reactions and in the end, settling into one version of color and culture blindness. Her friend's comment was telling, "After awhile, you don't really see what your children look like, but every so often it's like returning to your home after a very long vacation, and you can see it again for the very first time."

In other words, it's the luxury of seeing race when you choose as a white adult, as opposed to the reality of your child and millions of other children. This viewpoint doesn't even open up a discussion of how adoption by white parents generally impacts a child's connection with their birth community and culture. While people have different opinions on transracial adoption--in an ideal world and in the current realities--it would be at least important to agree that being colorblind in a racist and race conscious world is a real disservice to children.

This viewpoint dovetails with choices many white U.S. adoptive parents are making about where to adopt. There seems to be a belief out there--many times hidden behind a fear of drug-exposed children ("crack baby" alert!) as the reason not to adopt domestically--that children of color from other countries aren't actually children of color and can "pass" and be treated as white, which sure is easier for the white adopting parents.

Since the number of U.S. transracial adoptions has increased--the history of this is interesting itself and mirrors larger U.S. and movement politics--the U.S. public adoption system does not do enough to recruit potential adoptive parents of color or highlight the extent to which people of color are adopting or being foster parents. It does not engage with white potential adoptive parents on their racial views or how they plan to address racial differences and racism. At least in California, it's not even legal to reject a white applicant from adopting (with the exception of Native American children) based on their perspective on race. Even sympathetic county workers willing to step outside regulations are too overburdened to fully help transracial families grapple with these issues. Fortunately, there are more resources on this issue, including PACT (www.pactadopt.org), but it's completely on white adoptive parents to be motivated to search them out.

Kirsten Cross

Holly Fincke

Michael-David Sasson