Adherance: I'm forever blowing bubbles.

Adherence means staying with my injections, doing physical therapy, and watching my weight. I have been faithful to one and have struggled with the other two ... many times!

A childhood experience taught me how to manage my health care: I was 14 years old before I learned how to blow a bubblegum bubble. Everyone told me how to do it--stretch the chewed gum over my tongue. No bubbles. Wad the chewed-up gum behind my teeth and stretch it before I blew. I could not get a bubble to form. Gradually, I blew a few lame bubbles but couldn't do it consistently. What finally got me blowing the perfect bubble was sheer will. I could not go through life with the stigma of not knowing how. It was mind and heart over gum.

That small personal victory represents how I still try to approach events in my life. To this day, the advice of friends and experts, a steady dependence on my God, and the sheer internal drive to get up and start again help me stick to my plans. Managing my MS demands that I stay on an injection schedule, make good diet choices, and do some physical exercise. The term for this is "adherence."

For me, taking an injection which slows the progression of MS has been fairly easy. When I began my shots almost 10 years ago, I had a bad reaction the fifth week of treatment: I was nauseated, chilled, and weak for two days. The hardest shot I ever had was the very next one. I thought: I don't know if I want to go through this again. I spent a lot of spiritual and psychic energy over that until I realized that this is the only control I have over my MS. Why can't I put up with some side effects when people on chemotherapy for cancer are the real troopers?

So I talked with friends and with medical experts and offered a little prayer to God to bless all who live with MS, all who do MS research, and all who suffer side effects. Then I just gritted my teeth and took it.

For me, adherence to my injections has been the easiest part of managing my MS--maybe because I show up and someone else gives me my shot at a scheduled time. I have been faithful to my schedule, even while traveling to Maska or Italy. What is really hard for me is adherence to the more internal or subtle issues: physical therapy and diet.

I skipped physical therapy for the last year and a half. I had a therapist assess my walking and gait years ago. She designed a strengthening program on a weight machine which I did three times a week for about 10 years. It was really good for me to stretch and feel that extra reserve of stamina when I stood or walked. But I stopped. An employee in a neighboring office left her job, and I took on some of her duties until a new staff person was hired. I even helped train the new person. I didn't go back to my PT when that was done.

I can feel the loss of exercise. My legs are not as limber as they were, and I experience spasticity now. I know that it is because I have not stretched out my legs, or strengthened my lower back and upper arms. This has been making me feel like a failure. After all, I stopped my program.

But then I realized that I do have it in me to return, even though it has been so long. Who says you can't go home again? Once I decided that, I met with a physical therapist, and the first workout actually felt pretty good!

Food is the other challenge. I know that since I work at a desk all day, I need a healthy diet, not just because of MS, but for overall health. I usually follow a program eating fruits, vegetables, good proteins, and correct portion sizes, but I fall off the wagon. Then at some critical moment I remember what I know. I can control portions when I eat out, at the cafeteria, and even at home. I know that if I slip, getting back on my disciplined program is within my power. But I might need help from friends, from health-care professionals, from prayer.

The National MS Society sponsors the Gateway to Wellness program in many chapters. I found the six-week series offers a variety of real-life tools. MS is a challenge, but then simply living is a challenge!

I've decided to take charge of my life. Sometimes I fail. But then I think, "So what?" I can always strive again. Even when I have to start over, to be a good steward of my body I will take my shots, watch my diet, and hit the machines for the sake of my muscles. I'm forever blowing bubbles--so to speak!

Sister Karen Zielinski became a member of the Society's Hall of Fame in 2000 for her work as a volunteer at the Northwestern Ohio Chapter.