AS MEAN AS THEY WANNA BE : CALIFORNIA TOWN RAISES FUNDS WITH HOOT OF MOCK MAYORAL CAMPAIGN.

Byline: Damon Arthur Scripps-McClatchy Western Service

Bill Clinton and Bob Dole can be testy campaigners, but their presidential battle seems like dinner with Miss Manners compared to the Weaverville mayoral race.

One candidate says he was abducted by aliens from the planet Uranus and chosen to run for mayor. Another contestant calls himself ``The Duke,'' inviting comparisons to actor John Wayne. And then there is the nominee dubbed ``the redneck.''

As politicians and politicking go, Howard ``Tie-dye'' Freeman, John Wayne Wallace and J.C. ``Bear'' Aikins are setting new standards.

Sampling the campaign themes, Aikins, ``the redneck,'' has a proposal to cure the county's budget woes: ``I'd like to see the county secede from the Union. Maybe we can get some foreign aid,'' he said.

About all Aikins will receive is a few laughs. That's just what he wants, as long as he also receives some money. Aikins readily admits he's trying to buy votes.

That's illegal in most elections, but not in the Weaverville mayor's race, where the candidates aren't interested in public office because there is no public office. Weaverville doesn't have a mayor. The three candidates are merely trying to raise money for community projects.

The mayoral hopeful who raises the most money is victorious, said Karen Metcalf of Weaverville. The town isn't an incorporated city so the mayor's post will be an unofficial, ceremonial post.

Each penny is counted as one vote. The calculations were scheduled to be completed Saturday - the last day of voting - with the one with the most money being named His Honor, the mayor, Metcalf said.

``It's been hilarious. It's really been great,'' said Wallace, 60, administrative assistant at Weaverville Elementary School. ``We don't have any campaign issues, except bogus-type issues.

``I think people were more involved in our campaign than the real supervisors' campaign,'' said Wallace, referring to last month's primary election for the Trinity County Board of Supervisors.

The campaign kicked off Feb. 7. Since then, wanna-be mayors have been staging campaign fund-raisers such as basketball games, debates, burger barbecues and dances, Metcalf said.

Freeman, 37, has been sending regular letters to the editor of the Trinity Journal, promoting his campaign themes and slinging a little mud. One missive explained his close encounter with aliens from the planet Uranus.

``They took me onto their spaceship and performed many painful but somewhat pleasurable experiments,'' wrote Freeman, the manager of First Run Video in Weaverville. ``In exchange for being their `little lab rat,' they gave me the gift of all-knowing,'' he wrote. ``My newfound friends told me to use my gift to better mankind. What better place to start than Weaverville?''

As of last week, Freeman and Aikins had raised about $3,000 each, and Wallace was up to about $2,000, Metcalf said.

Freeman's money will be used to buy electrical equipment for the new amphitheater at Lee Fong Park. Aikins, a construction company owner who would not list his age, will donate his dollars to additional playground equipment at Lowden Park. Wallace said he will split his money three ways - to send students to Whiskeytown Environmental School, to support Club Live anti-drug activities and to help finance an eighth-grade trip to Sacramento for Weaverville Elementary school students.