ART / SNEAK PEEK : COLLECTORS SQUEEZING BABES OUT OF TOYLAND.

Toys should be fun, right? They shouldn't be hard to find or the price of a VCR, should they? And you should be able to take them out of the box and smash them against walls if you want.

But as the holiday toy frenzy approaches, the economics and etiquette of playthings becomes more and more complex.

Of course, the difficulty of buying trendy trinkets has been well-chronicled; recall the early-'80s Cabbage Patch Kids crisis and the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers insanity of a few years ago. A new movie, ``Jingle All the Way,'' even sends Arnold Schwarzenegger in search of an elusive Turbo Man action figure.

But the problem goes deeper than simple supply and demand. Classic characters have left the realm of kid-dom and are becoming the exclusive property of collectors, usually adults with very big allowances.

G.I. Joe, for example, a four-star citizen of the Cool Toy Hall of Fame, has seen a nostalgic resurgence lately. Reproductions of the first-ever 1964 foot-high scar-faced doughboy have been on sale ... for $50.

``He was made so that you could have an army of them, with accessories and vehicles,'' says James DeSimone of Burbank, president of the G.I. Joe Collector's Club. ``But at $50, no adult in their right mind will buy these things for their children.''

Things have changed since the '60s (or even '80s), when suburban homes swelled with standing armies of little plastic men. But making infantrymen rare and collectible before they even leave the shelf takes all the fun out of it, says DeSimone. Barbie, at least, never wanders too far from the grade-schooler's bedroom.

And look at the new Stormtrooper action figures, the anonymous armored henchmen from ``Star Wars.'' Production of such figures is often controlled or halted to create demand, not fun.

``You need like 100 of them to make a really good battle scene,'' says DeSimone. ``But you'd be lucky to find even one. It discourages kids, if they can't get the cool guys, they forget about it.''

Making toys too valuable and encouraging kids to not even open the box can ruin the play value, both now and later.

``If it's hard to find and expensive, a child never gets this stuff,'' he says. ``If they can't get it, they don't play with it. If they don't play it, they don't have any memories of it. If they don't have any memories of it, then they won't want to collect it when they're older.''

And we watch you: If you're looking for a lesson in fine literature in less than an hour, you have two choices: 1. Pick out a few works from the classics shelves, stuff from Edgar Allen Poe and Lewis Carroll and Mark Twain, and flip through. But good luck finding short tales that won't bore the young mind. 2. Check out the band of traveling word minstrels called We Tell Stories as they begin a series of free shows tomorrow at the Glendale Public Library. The performers pull literature from a big trunk and act out stories, often asking a few audience members to join the cast. You can see them at 2 p.m. at the library, 222 E. Harvard St. on Saturday, and Nov. 23, Dec. 7, 14 and 21.

Veterinarians Hospital: Don't worry. Snuffleupagus doesn't have the sniffles. Grover doesn't have lice. But somebody's sick on ``Sesame Street,'' and Noah Wyle is there to help. Best-known as the baby-faced Dr. Carter on NBC's ``ER,'' Wyle pulls a long shift for the season premiere of ``Sesame Street'' on PBS, lending a compassionate ear to a traumatized Gabi, whose mother, Maria, has gone into the hospital. You'll have to tune in at 10 a.m. Monday on KCET (Channel 28) to find out what happens, and to see if Big Bird gets one of those George Clooney haircuts.

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Photo: no caption (G.I. Joe - THE STORY BEHIND THE LEGEND)