ANTICS IN CLEVELAND LEAVE A BROWN MARK.

Byline: NORMAN CHAD NFL 

These are the facts we now know in regard to the Cleveland Browns:

--Their players are among the biggest trash-talkers in the NFL.

--Their fans enjoy throwing trash onto the field.

--Their suits spewed so much garbage last Sunday, I'm surprised the Cuyahoga River didn't catch fire again.

At least the Dawg Pound rowdies had an excuse - they were drinking bad beer. I'm not sure what Al Lerner and Carmen Policy were smoking when they polluted us with their shallow spin.

And I still don't know what NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue was thinking when he sent the teams back onto the field to finish the game under those conditions. Maybe he had the Browns.

By the way, now I get what Sam Wyche was talking about when he grabbed the microphone on the sideline that time and admonished the Riverfront Stadium crowd, ``You don't live in Cleveland, you live in Cincinnati!''

Before we return to Lerner and Policy, let me call out the hidden culprit here: Instant replay. I've said it before and I'll say it again - replay is a riot waiting to happen. You get a tough call overturned against the home team late in an important game and the fans are bound to erupt.

This, among a dozen other reasons, should rid us of replay. (Incidentally, did you notice, in the debris that littered Browns Stadium, the multitude of half-full and almost-full Bud Light and Miller Genuine Draft bottles? As a Rolling Rock man - and speaking for my fellow Rolling Rock consumers - let me tell you we would never toss away our favorite beer unless the bottle were empty.)

So Lerner, the honorable Browns owner, tells us afterward, ``It wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't World War III.''

And Policy, the honorable Browns president, tells us, ``I like the fact that our fans cared. The bottles are plastic. They don't carry much of a wallop.''

Let me close with two brief thoughts:

--1. If Policy were hit by a bubble-gum wrapper during a Christmas party at an orphanage, he'd whip legal papers out of his vest pocket quicker than you could say ``salary cap scofflaw.''

--2. If Policy tells you everything is fine, it is not. If he tells you not to worry, you should. And if he tells you it's midnight, it's high noon.

As always, the following point-spread picks should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wager:

--Saints at Buccaneers (-3): I just don't understand how that many Cleveland fans were able to go home, sober up, towel off, change socks and fly down to Superdome in time for Monday night's Rams-Saints game. Pick: Saints.

--Cowboys at Cardinals (-3 1/2): Injury report: Bill Gramatica, out (hyperextended histrionics). Gramatica's injury is as close as you can get - literally and figuratively - to breaking your arm patting yourself on the back. Pick: Cardinals.

--Chargers at Chiefs (-3): A reader from Herndon, Va., asks, ``How could you dump your Team of Destiny so callously?'' My friends, I'm like a mob boss - you turn on me, I turn on you. Go Chiefs! Pick: Chiefs.

--Lions at Steelers (-10): Privately, NFL coaches refer to Steelers offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey fondly as the ``Jean Van de Velde of play callers.'' League office is reviewing Lions victory. Pick: Lions.

--Bears (-2) at Redskins: You tell me what's more impressive - Darrell Green intercepting passes 19 consecutive seasons or The Man catching cold 23 consecutive winters. Pick: Redskins.

--Eagles at 49ers (-3): The good news for Steve Mariucci is consecutive shutouts at home. The bad news for Steve Mariucci is Bill Walsh feels shut out at home. Pick: Eagles.

--Jets at Colts (-1): Dr. Joyce Brothers calls Jim Mora's recent news- conference outbursts ``a cry for help.'' The Jets offense reminds me of an impacted tooth on tax day. Pick: Colts.

--Bills at Falcons (-4): Overshadowed by the Browns fiasco, Bills fans threw half-eaten Buffalo wings onto Ralph Wilson Stadium field during overtime. Pick: Falcons.

--Bengals at Ravens (-11): Ravens coach Brian Billick stalked out of his monthly Mensa meeting when members questioned his third-down play selection. Pick: Ravens.

--Jaguars at Vikings (-3 1/2): If some corporate sponsor's in the way and Randy Moss wants his bus seat that badly, why wouldn't he just push off? Pick: Jaguars.

--Dolphins at Patriots (-3): Somebody pinched Tom Brady the other day - he woke up and threw two more touchdown passes. Pick: Dolphins.

--Titans at Raiders (-5): Based on lip-reading, it appears David Mamet has scripted most of Jon Gruden's sideline dialogue. Pick: Raiders.

--Browns at Packers (-8): Key factor: When Brett Favre was 3 years old, he used to climb into the refrigerator and practice checking off. Pick: Packers.

--Rams (-12) at Panthers: Austrian critic Karl Kraus once said, ``Life is an effort that deserves a better cause.'' I believe he was a Panthers fan. Pick: Rams.

--Seahawks at Giants (-3 1/2): Kerry Collins couldn't find an open receiver with a Google search. Pick: Giants.

--Last week: 7-8.

--Season record: 86-104-10.

CAPTION(S):

2 photos

Photo:

(1 -- 2) ``I've said it before and I'll say it again - replay is a riot waiting to happen. You get a tough call overturned against the home team late in an important game and the fans are bound to erupt.''

Photos by Tony Dejak/Associated Press