ANSWERS 4 DANCERS.

Most of the questions to this column come from teenagers longing for guidance about the dream of dancing for a living. But occasionally, a parent wants advice about a talented child. Recently, this letter arrived:

Dear Grover,

I am the mother of a very talented 11-year-old. Dance is her passion. She studies ballet, tap, jazz, hip-hop and lyrical along with acting classes that her studio offers. She dances four to six days a week. Usually, I pick her up from school at 3:30 and take her to the studio and then she doesn't get home until 9 or 10. She belongs to a performing dance company that competes. Sometimes this entails having to pull her out of school. Her school grades suffered last year. Do you know of any performing arts schools in California that offer full-time boarding arrangements?

We live in a very rural part of California, "The Dairy Capital of the World." Need I say more? L.A. is three hours away. What do you do when your kid trains at the best studio your area has to offer, but you know she needs more to develop her talent? We've gone to L.A. classes, and the teachers always go out of their way to tell me to keep bringing her back for more classes. That's very encouraging. My dilemma is that our studio is strongest in ballet and doesn't offer all the fancy jazz and funk that my daughter loves. Help! I don't know what I should do for her.

Concerned Mom

I took a few extra days to think about my response to this woman. Her dilemma got to me.

Dear Concerned Mom,

It sounds like your daughter's dancing life means a lot to you. Being a parent myself, I understand the desire to provide your child with every possible advantage you can give her.

With the strong potential you describe in her, access to good training is essential. But so is having a childhood, friends, a neighborhood and a strong family environment to grow up in. If she decides to pursue a dance career, all of that will contribute to creating the complete professional that may already be growing in her.

Before leaping into a full-time boarding situation, why not try a six-to-eight-week summer program to see if being away from home suits her? Or, as another option, consider some preparation work that can be done at home. I'm enclosing an article I wrote a few months ago after hearing from teenaged dancers feeling trapped and isolated by living in small towns like yours.

Hope you like it.

Grover D.

LAUNCHING THE CAREER BEGINS AT HOME!

(PREPARATION YOU CAN DO BEFORE MOVING TO THE BIG CITY)

STEP #1: RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN POTENTIAL

Because there are dozens of dancers seeking every job that's available, the task of competing for them can overwhelm even the strongest among us. Entry-level dancers need every source of self-confidence they can find to get through it. When employment realities kick in, knowing what we've got to offer, not only as performers and technicians, but also as persons and fellow workers, helps to balance those challenging moments.

Recognizing one's potential is a process that doesn't happen overnight. When should it start? The earlier the better. Ease into it by acknowledging the progress you make in math class, putting a meal together, organizing a closet, improving those pirouettes or in any skill you're trying to acquire. Give yourself frequent pats on the back. You deserve them. Hear the praise you get from others, even if it's only about what you're wearing or the way you've fixed your hair. Hear and accept it. Silently agree with the praise. Agreeing with praise sends your brain a healthy message. It's another step toward building self-esteem. Self-esteem leads to self-confidence, and that leads to believing in yourself. Nothing--I mean nothing--is more useful than believing in yourself when you're facing the unfavorable end of a professional outcome.

STEP #2: OBSERVE THE POTENTIAL OF OTHERS

Observe successful people at work (family members, neighbors, teachers, friends, etc.). Do they seem happy with their jobs? Does their behavior attract others to them? Are they advancing in their careers? Do their personalities have anything to do with their success? Would you hire them? If "yes" is the answer to most of these questions, it sounds like they'd make good role models. No harm is done by imitating the potential in others while taking the time to identify your own.

STEP #3: BUILD YOUR OWN SUPPORT TEAM

Sharing your hopes and concerns about your career choices with friends, family members and teachers is healthy. Weighing the pros and cons of college programs, scholarships, part-time jobs, preparing for auditions and securing an agent leads to more solutions when you engage others in the process. The advice you need may be closer to home than you think.

STEP #4: INVESTIGATE THE OPTIONS IN FRONT OF YOU

Keep your eyes open. Info-seek. If you live near a major city, there may be theaters, dance companies or production firms that accept volunteer help or interns. Try volunteering a few hours of your time each week. Meet people who are working (or who have worked) in the arts and entertainment. Establish rapport wherever possible. If a conversational opportunity presents itself, ask real questions. Like: What did it take to get your first job? How did you improve your chances? What was the best career advice you ever got? What was the biggest mistake you ever made?

STEP #5: THINK ABOUT THE CHOICES YOU MAKE DAILY

Everyday choices about classes, TV viewing, reading habits, eating habits, finances, friendships and leisure time impacts our professional goals. Why? Because they contribute to the kind of person we're becoming. We owe it to ourselves to understand that no matter how well we sing, dance or act, the kind of person we are plays a role in our employability. So, why not become the kind of person that any employer or colleague would enjoy spending eight to twelve hours a day with?

STEP #6: DEVELOP THE STRENGTH TO LOOK AT THE TOUGH QUESTIONS

As professional dancers, we are subject to the rules of freelance employment. Webster's Dictionary defines a freelancer as "one who sells his or her services to employers without a long-term commitment." OK: That means we're looking at a profession that, by its very nature, cannot offer steady employment. Can you be comfortable in a profession not knowing where the next job is coming from? This means there will be periods of time when the bank account may not be as full as you need it to be. Is financial uncertainty acceptable to you?

A challenging question, right? Generations of working professionals have found ways of dealing with finances. Some came into the "biz" prepared to take part-time jobs. Some relied on loans or support from their families. The smartest ones acquired "financial management" skills before entering the biz. The survival budget you create and live by today can make your tomorrow a lot easier.

Another tough one: Once you see how much dance employment is out there, you may learn that the form of dance you're most committed to offers fewer opportunities than you had hoped. Are you willing to explore other, more employable, forms of dance? If you are, can you handle a commitment to more than one dance form? If you aren't, are you ready to devote yourself to a dancing life that hovers very close to the line of poverty?

STEP #7: ACCUMULATE THE INFO YOU NEED

Useful information has never been so available. How lucky we are to have access to the superhighway of information! Go ahead, jump-start that education. Inform yourself! Subscribe to the publications that provide insights and new directions in dance and choreography. Learn about your unions and the organizations that support your colleagues. Fatten the possibilities by fattening your knowledge base.

STEP #8: NONSTOP PREPARATION

Regardless of how many years we devote ourselves to preparation, there's always another lesson to be learned and another technique to be mastered. The nature of arts and entertainment is that they shift with public tastes, technical advances and creative breakthroughs. The tools we need for tomorrow may be different from the tools we're using today. So, the good news (and the bad news) is that training never stops. If the idea of continuing education is repellent to you, stop now and select an occupation that demands less of you. If dance is the only career that will make you happy, get comfortable with being on the path to more growth. You're going to be on it a long time!

STEP #9: CONNECT ALL THE DOTS!

Hopefully, these steps will help you to recognize that you have, in addition to a dancing life, a business life, a financial life, an emotional life and a spiritual life. All of them impact your career. Each has its own importance and contributes to developing the whole professional that is growing inside you.

Good luck to you and your daughter. Keep me posted about your progress.

Grover D.

One day later, I heard back from the concerned mom.

Grover,

Thanks. Your article hit home. One of the things MOST said about my daughter by teachers and friends is that she is a HAPPY and well-balanced child. I think I will keep it that way. She loves life and she has so much passion for dance, she sparkles on stage. However, she just doesn't have the focus and the direction the dance teachers want her to. I've let others influence me into thinking this was holding her back. Your article made me realize it was OK; she is only 11--I should give her her childhood.

Thank you again for your reply. As my daughter starts her first day of middle school tomorrow, I will enjoy every moment of it. She will only be a kid once. But she will always be a dancer.

Deanna, a happier mom

A FEW HOURS LATER:

Dear Deanna,

Anyone who can turn a corner as courageously as you did today deserves acknowledgement. Your daughter is very fortunate to have such a special mom.

Warmly,

Grover D.

Got questions that won't go away? Want answers from a pro? You can reach Grover Dale directly through www.dancemagazine.com