ANIMAL MAGNETISM TAKEN TO RIDICULOUS CONCLUSION.

Byline: Bob Strauss Daily News Film Critic

A soldier lost in the Sahara. Nearly dead, he encounters a leopard. She doesn't eat him. Love blossoms.

If you're not laughing your head off right now, ``Passion in the Desert'' might appeal to you. An undeniably beautiful film, based on a 19th-century novella by Honore de Balzac, this is a heartfelt, cinematic love letter to nature that's completely out if its mind and doesn't appear to realize it.

British actor Ben Daniels is probably certifiable, too, but in a heroic way. His three spotted co-stars - Mowgli, Bagheera and Akela - were raised by the movie's animal trainers from cubhood, but there's still no such thing as a domesticated leopard. Daniels cuddles, wrestles, even licks his, um, leading ladies in the course of the film, and could have had his neck snapped - or worse - in a second if he ever rubbed one the wrong way.

But we're getting ahead of the story. Daniels plays Augustin, an officer in Napoleon's 1798 Egyptian expeditionary force. He's escorting the general's favorite artist, named Venture (French film veteran Michel Piccoli, hamming it up), on a sketching tour of desert landmarks. A Mameluke attack and subsequent sandstorm separates the duo from the rest of the French army. Dying of thirst, Venture goes mad and kills himself while Augustin makes it to an ancient, abandoned temple.

Where he meets the lovely Simoom. At first, she naturally terrifies him, especially when he watches her maul a pursuing Arab. But then thirst forces him to confront her at the only pool of water for miles around. She not only allows him to drink unmolested, she seems to welcome him.

Weeks go by, and lonely man and beast form an unlikely, weirdly eroticized bond. Their play is quite appealing despite being a little unsettling, but this perfect idyll can't last forever. Mating season arrives, and Augustin actually gets so jealous of an interloping male cat he takes to daubing himself with mud ``spots'' and padding around on all fours. But Tomcat is nothing compared to the threat a bedraggled column of Napoleon's soldiers pose to the relationship.

Director-adapter Lavinia Currier has worked with big cats in India and Africa, and you don't need to read ``this film is dedicated to all wild animals'' on the credit crawl to know that she adores them. The leopards are magnificently showcased in ``Passion in the Desert,'' but the unlikely scenario does them a disservice. Remember the comic scene where the Sioux warriors dub Kevin Costner Dances With Wolves because he looks so loony frolicking alongside his lupine friend? Imagine that extended for half-a-movie's length and you'll have a good inkling of how ``Passion in the Desert'' plays.

THE FACTS

The film: ``Passion in the Desert'' (PG-13; violence, nudity).

The stars: Ben Daniels, Michel Piccoli, some leopards.

Behind the scenes: Directed and produced by Lavinia Currier. Written by Currier and Martin Edmunds, based on Honore de Balzac's novella. Released by Fine Line Features.

Running time: One hour, 33 minutes.

Playing: Beverly Center Cineplex, West Hollywood; Royal, West L.A.

Our rating: Two and One Half Stars.

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Photo

Photo: French officer Augustin (Ben Daniels) and a female leopard form a life-saving bond in ``Passion in the Desert.''