ALTERNATE-UNIVERSE TV TRIO NETWORK GIVES NEVER-AIRED PILOTS A POINT OF DEPARTURE.

Byline: David Kronke Television Critic

What does it say that the pilots screening on the small cable network Trio this month are largely better than those the six broadcast networks will introduce in the upcoming fall season?

Basically, it says that Trio poached pilots those same networks had rejected. And it suggests network executives have lousy taste. But if you've watched much TV that does manage to make it onto the air, you probably knew that already.

Last year, Trio introduced the ``Brilliant, But Cancelled'' concept - programs that won critical acclaim and fervent cult audiences, but were canceled nonetheless because they were unable to draw large audiences. Andy Richter narrated the documentary framing the programming bloc; not long after, his own terrific Fox sitcom was canceled - there's a lesson in there somewhere.

This year the concept goes further. It cribs from Uncabaret hostess/comic Beth Lapides, who recently introduced ``The Other Network'' - screenings at local nightclubs of very funny comedy pilots that never got on TV. These shows' creators introduced their works and explained the often-even-funnier chain of events that resulted in the flagrant disrespect network suits dumped upon their efforts.

Many industry observers have long noted that a Cancellation Playhouse cable channel would have a wealth of material to air. Trio emerges as the first network to test that theory.

``Brilliant, But Cancelled: Pilot Season,'' a documentary that offers a vaguely more self-important, somewhat more aggrieved and certainly less self-deprecatingly hilarious version of ``The Other Network,'' premieres at 9 and midnight tonight. (It will also be presented Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday). Additionally, a number of the ill-fated programs discussed in the documentary will be presented throughout the week, many of them worth catching. Here's a rundown:

BEAT COPS is a deadpan sitcom that may remind some viewers of Comedy Central's ``Reno 911!'' It follows two borderline-competent NYPD desk officers (co-writer Sam Seder and Jon Benjamin) who are dispatched to the field and discover they're ill-equipped to deal with citizens - or even their colleagues. Though the low-key, laugh-track-free show has its moments, it's sort of easy to see why no network picked it up. Its gags are as dry as dust, eschewing the gut-rattling guffaws to which network sitcoms aspire. 8:30 and 11:30 tonight.

LOOKWELL stars Adam West as a pompous TV actor who believed his role as a detective entitled him to solve actual crimes. Writers Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel wonderfully exploit West's deadpan idiocy as he obliviously blunders his way through life (think Batman without the brain - and the tights, obviously). This clearly would have been a great show, but O'Brien seems to have done well enough for himself. 8 and 11 tonight.

L.A. CONFIDENTIAL made for a great, Oscar-winning movie, but the TV version (starring Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Vincennes, who was played by Kevin Spacey and died in the film) scarcely managed to make police corruption in the '50s seem so seductive or so sinister. Put it this way: The film had teeth; the TV version is lucky to have gums. 10 tonight and 1 a.m. Tuesday.

FARGO may be the greatest head-scratcher of the bunch. It's an inspired, hilarious and wonderfully realized spin-off of the Coen brothers' 1996 Oscar-winning film about Marge Gunderson, a pregnant-to- the-point-of-popping small-town chief of police fighting crime in a small Midwestern town. About the only good thing that can be said about networks rejecting this pilot is that it allowed the actress who played Marge - Edie Falco, who is almost as endearingly amusing as Oscar winner Frances McDormand - to go on to play Carmella Soprano. Given that ace show runners Robert Palm, the late Bruce Paltrow and director Kathy Bates are the creative team, this is one you definitely want to see. 9 p.m. and midnight Tuesday.

DEAR DIARY went on to win an Oscar for best short film after the pilot was rejected, and the concept is similar to HBO's ``Sex and the City.'' These factoids give you perhaps a slightly inflated idea of its quality. Bebe Neuwirth stars as a New Yorker who writes obsessively about her life and is preoccupied with sex; the difference is, she's married and characters aren't naked. 10 p.m. Tuesday and 1 a.m. Wednesday.

SICK IN THE HEAD represents another notch in the belt of Judd Apatow; he should sue the networks for malpractice. (Among his wonderful but too quickly canceled series: ``The Ben Stiller Show,'' ``Freaks and Geeks'' and ``Undeclared.'') This one, about a neophyte psychiatrist, his best friend and his deeply neurotic first patient, boasts bizarre dialogue but probably didn't fly because the two leads - David Krumholtz and Kevin Corrigan - weren't big enough draws at the time. Had it succeeded, the enormously talented Amy Poehler, as Krumholtz's hopeless patient, would have seemed a shoo-in for an Emmy. Bonus: Andrea Martin as Krumholtz's conniving colleague. 10:30 p.m. Tuesday and 1:30 a.m. Wednesday.

REWRITE FOR MURDER is the one show in this mix that clearly doesn't belong here, except for the star power. Pam Dawber stars as a sexier version of Angela Lansbury's Jessica Fletcher, a TV mystery writer, with George Clooney as an ex-con recruited to write for her show. It was clearly intended to be a revisionist version of ``Moonlighting,'' only with zero chemistry between its stars - perhaps due to their egregious hairstyles. 10 p.m. Wednesday and 1 a.m. Thursday.

DINER, based on Barry Levinson's sleeper-hit 1982 movie, was an early no-laugh-track sitcom; but due to the slice-of-life dialogue, sound mixers would've been flummoxed to figure out where the laughs belonged. Paul Reiser, who was in the film, returned; future film stars James Spader and Michael Madsen also appeared. The laugh-free premise clearly inspired co-star and future bland auteur (``The Mind of the Married Man'') Mike Binder. 9 p.m. and midnight Friday.

BLACK BART spun off Mel Brooks' ``Blazing Saddles.'' Lou Gossett Jr. assumed Cleavon Little's role as a black sheriff in a racist Old West town. The humor is, to be kind, a bit on the dated side; the show's use of the ``n word'' probably made it an iffy proposition even back in 1975, when this was produced. ``Barney Miller's'' Steve Landesberg co-starred - lucky for him this was never picked up or his career would have been over - and Brooke Adams had a tiny part. 9:30 p.m. Friday and 12:30 a.m. Saturday.

SAVAGE, about a newsmagazine program, was the one pilot unavailable for preview. Why you wouldn't want to watch it: It starred Martin Landau and Barbara Bain, the husband-wife team that would eventually star in ``Space: 1999.'' Why you would definitely want to watch it: The pilot was directed by Steven Spielberg. 9 p.m. and midnight Thursday.

David Kronke, [phone]

david.kronke(at)dailynews.com

CAPTION(S):

3 photos

Photo:

(1) Adam West starred in the title role of ``Lookwell,'' one of the pilot episodes exhumed by Trio for its ``Brilliant, But Cancelled'' special on shows that never were.

(2) Louis Gossett Jr. played a sheriff in an Old West town in ``Black Bart,'' a comedy inspired by Mel Brooks' ``Blazing Saddles.''

(3) Jon Benjamin, left, and Sam Seder were two clueless NYPD officers sent out from behind the desk on ``Beat Cops.''