ALONE IN THE HOLIDAY SEASON SINGLES FIND NEW WAYS TO CHEER UP.

Byline: TONY CASTRO Staff Writer

Palm trees and ``Jingle Bells.''

As he drove to his first Christmas party in Studio City some years back, screenwriter Teo Davis tried to understand why he felt so unhappy -- and finally concluded it was the combination of palm trees lining the streets and ``Jingle Bells'' blaring on his car stereo.

``They don't go together very well,'' said the South Pasadena resident. ``But the truth of it was that it had nothing to do with palm trees and `Jingle Bells.' I felt miserable because it was another set of holidays alone.''

Or, as Reseda's Liane Schneider put it: ``The holidays bring home the point that you don't have a family and that you don't have children.''

Davis and Schneider are alone, but aren't alone. When you're single, the holidays can be the pits. Pop psychologists have made the topic an annual staple. U.S. Census Bureau data show that 25 percent of the nation's households -- 27.2 million of them -- now consist of one person, compared with just 10 percent in 1950.

``I think the reason the holidays can be such a difficult time for singles is that it's a time for reflection -- and for many singles it marks another year when their lives didn't work out the way they wanted it to,'' said Carol Allen, a popular Los Angeles relationships coach and radio personality.

But the onset of another round of holidays suggests that singles in the San Fernando Valley and Los Angeles as a whole may well be carving out their own innovative ways of celebrating: singles clubs holding special get-togethers, traditional dinners at restaurants, serving meals to the homeless or even spending Thanksgiving and Christmas at the Playboy Mansion.

``I think the old adage that holidays are unhappy, lonesome times for singles is no longer true,'' said Hollywood restaurateur Patricia Casado, who has never married. ``Times are no longer what they used to be. Too many single people are dedicated to their careers.

``The Internet connects them cheaply to the world, especially their families. Two clicks and they're celebrating the holidays with their loved ones via iChat.''

`Family' redefined

Allen and other experts said many singles today have redefined the term ``family,'' as well as what ``family'' means to them -- especially during the holidays.

``A lot of people don't live near their family or sometimes aren't that close to their family,'' said Allen, ``and so they look to their friends and to the people they're close to at work as family.''

For instance, real-estate agents Andy Juarez and Jenny Oosterveen of Sherman Oaks are both single, but they have been in an off-again, on-again relationship that has spanned several years and holidays.

``We're both single, but we have the lifestyle of a family,'' Juarez said. ``Plus, Jenny has a 12-year-old daughter.''

Juarez and Oosterveen often celebrate the holidays with one of their respective families, who happen to live in Southern California.

For Schneider, who grew up in the Valley and remains single, activity comes with the Los Angeles chapter of the Catholic Alumni Club, a singles organization that has regular dances and other functions -- including a Day after Thanksgiving Dance at which some 300 people are expected.

Schneider said a club member in Simi Valley typically hosts a buffet dinner on Thanksgiving, and there are plans this year for a Christmas party in Calabasas.

``I don't think any of us planned on being single all our lives, and it can be especially difficult for some during the holidays,'' Schneider said. ``So it's nice that there are events where, if you're single, you can (bond) with other single men and women.''

In the case of Holly Huff of Simi Valley, these holidays she will be learning to be single again -- as will other singles who were divorced in the past year.

``On Thanksgiving, we always used to go to his family's home because they have such a big house,'' Huff said. ``This Thanksgiving I'll be spending it with my own parents.

``I'm very thankful I have my own family to be close to.''

Comedian Jerome Cleary said he regularly spends part of his holidays volunteering at food giveaways for the needy.

``My mother and father are both dead, and there's my brother and my sister,'' he said, ``but a lot of times I simply enjoy spending time (during the holidays) giving back to those who are less fortunate. The other time I spend grabbing on to friends and pretending they're my family.''

Single actors

In a city filled with a lot of actors, there is no organized group for single actors -- but stories abound of groups of working actors without families who spend their holidays together.

``I think it's typical of what many single people do in a big city when they're without their families -- they go to restaurants and enjoy having dinner together,'' said Julie McCullough, a former television series actress who has been working on the stage and in comedy in recent years.

``What we did for several years here was that there were so many actors who were all single and all away from their families that we got together a whole big group and all of us cooked together.

``Last year, I spent Thanksgiving in Calgary where I was doing a play and where few celebrate an American Thanksgiving. But there was another American in the cast, and we got together and cooked our own Thanksgiving dinner.''

But McCullough is also an exception. While she often spends Thanksgiving with friends or with a brother who lives in Southern California, she makes a point of returning each Christmas to North Carolina to be part of her family's traditional get-togethers.

``When you have a family, I do think it's important to do holiday things together,'' McCullough said. ``My entire family gets together on Fourth of Julys and sometimes Thanksgiving dinners, but always for Christmas.''

McCullough also happens to be a former Playboy Playmate who says the Playboy Mansion annually hosts Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Day events for the extended family of Playmates and single employees and friends of founder Hugh Hefner.

``A lot of people who work for Playboy (Enterprises) and don't have family here often spend the holidays at the mansion,'' McCullough said. ``The few times I haven't spent holidays with my family or real close friends, I've spent them there.''

But as McCullough and others agreed, there is still no substitute for being with family during the holidays.

``Regardless of whether you're single or married, there's going to be joviality and celebration during the holidays,'' Davis said. ``But if you're single, there's still this sense of being the odd man out, of being on the outside looking in.

``Being alone is bad enough. Being alone during the holidays is a double whammy, and there's no one to share that alienation with. So not only do you feel alone, but you're also cut off from sharing that aloneness.

``One thing that's unmistakable about the holidays, especially Christmas, is that it's about family -- and if you don't have one, you're left out of the culture of Christmas.''

tony.castro(at)dailynews.com

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In the case of Holly Huff of Simi Valley, these holidays she will be learning to be single again -- as will other singles who were divorced in the past year.

Andy Holzman/Staff Photographer