ALMOST SURE TO HAPPEN IN PLAYOFFS.Byline: Michael Ventre What you should expect when the NBA playoffs The NBA Playoffs is a four-round best-of-seven elimination tournament between sixteen teams in the Eastern Conference and Western Conferences (called Divisions, pre-1970) of the National Basketball Association, ultimately determining the league champion. begin Thursday: Referees will not show up to the Lakers-Rockets series without mace, pepper spray, two off-duty patrolmen and a working knowledge of tae kwon do tae kwon do Korean martial art resembling karate. It is characterized by the use of high standing and jump kicks as well as punches and is practiced for sport, self-defense, and spiritual development. In sparring, blows are stopped just short of contact. . . . . Sartorial sar·to·ri·al adj. Of or relating to a tailor, tailoring, or tailored clothing: sartorial elegance. [From Late Latin sartor, tailor; see sartorius. icons Pat Riley For the American guitarist, see . Patrick James "Pat" Riley (born March 20, 1945) is an American National Basketball Association head coach and team president of the Miami Heat. and Phil Jackson will become so competitive in the Miami-Chicago series that while they themselves will not engage in physical combat, their respective designers will square off in a hissy fit. . . . Miami Heat center Alonzo Mourning will not take part in any of the team's huddles near the bench without having his agent present. . . . David Robinson will try to dispel the image that he is a soft player despite attempts by the Phoenix Suns to poke him in the midsection mid·sec·tion n. A middle section, especially the midriff of the body. with their index fingers while shouting, ``Poppin' fresh '' . . . Highlights of the Utah-Portland series will not be shown anywhere in the country. Not even in Utah and Portland. . . . Anthony Bowie of the Orlando Magic will call a timeout at the end of a blowout against Detroit so that he can tell everyone that he once had a triple-double. . . . Michael Jordan will start against the Heat, leave to give baseball another try and come back in time to be named MVP (Multimedia Video Processor) A high-speed DSP chip from Texas Instruments, introduced in 1994. Officially introduced as the TMS320C80, it combines RISC technology with the functionality of four DSPs on one chip. of the series. . . . The Lakers will not do pregame warmups but instead will get ready for the games by shadow boxing. . . . Penny Hardaway will have a nasty falling-out with Lil' Penny, which will cause their agent great dismay in deciding which is the most valuable client to side with. . . . The Utah-Portland series will eventually be televised by a local cable outlet based in the Midwest. The games will be broadcast by the team of Wayne and Garth. . . . Del Harris will start a lineup consisting of Nick Van Exel Nickey (Nick) Maxwell Van Exel (born November 27 1971 in Kenosha, Wisconsin) is a retired American professional basketball player in the NBA. Van Exel, a 6'1" left-handed point guard, was most well known for his flashy style of play and his ability to hit critical shots during , Magic Johnson, Mike Tyson, Hulk Hogan and Jackie Chan. . . . Dennis Rodman will be on his very best behavior and he'll still get fined from force of habit force of habit n. Behavior that has become automatic through long practice or frequent repetition. . . . . The Lakers will vote a full playoff share to Cedric Ceballos, but they'll make him swim to the bottom of Lake Havasu to get it. . . . Spike Lee will make the choke sign at Danny Ferry, and Ferry will simply nod. . . . Charles Barkley will answer questions about his controversial appointment to the Olympic team, but the only reporters who will be able to use any of his remarks will be the ones from magazines that you have to ask for at the newsstand. . . . Results from the Utah-Portland series will be cut out of the agate page because of space limitations. . . . The Sonics will win a first-round playoff series, but it won't count, since it's only the Sacramento Kings. . . . In the middle of the Indiana-Atlanta series, Larry Brown will announce he's leaving to take another job, and do so - in the middle of the Indiana-Atlanta series. . . . Shaquille O'Neal will unveil his new method of shooting free throws - paying a teammate to do it for him. . . . The Lakers will be asked not only to join our forces in Bosnia but to train them as well. . . . At the end of their series, the Houston Rockets will attempt to borrow an old soccer custom and try to exchange their colorful new jerseys with the Lakers. The Lakers will take one look at them and invoke an old custom of their own: beating their heads in. . . . The Lakers and the Utah Jazz will eventually meet in the playoffs. Cedric Ceballos will go AWOL again for a vacation, this time on the road. He will then become known as the Great Salt Laker. . . . David Robinson will be approached during the playoffs to do endorsement deals for suede coats, Nerf balls and skin moisturizers moisturizers hydroscopic agents, applied to the skin and hair, as creams, rinses or shampoos, to increase hydration of the stratum corneum. Examples are propylene glycol, glycerine and lactate. . . . . Tabloid stories will emerge from the Chicago area over the issue of whether Madonna's baby will be born with multiple tattoos. . . . The mayor of Sacramento will declare that the Kings-Sonics series is the biggest thing to happen to his city since the invention of the riding mower. . . . Whether they win or lose, the Indiana Pacers will refuse to vacate To annul, set aside, or render void; to surrender possession or occupancy. The term vacate has two common usages in the law. With respect to real property, to vacate the premises means to give up possession of the property and leave the area totally devoid of contents. their hotel rooms in Atlanta after Games 3 and 4 because they can get such a great price for them during the Olympics. . . . Seventy years from now, an old-timer will recount his days watching NBA NBA abbr. 1. National Basketball Association 2. National Boxing Association NBA (US) n abbr (= National Basketball Association) → Basketball-Dachverband (= playoff games between the Utah Jazz and the Portland Trail Blazers The Portland Trail Blazers are a professional basketball team based in Portland, Oregon. They play in the National Basketball Association (NBA). The franchise, based in Portland throughout its existence, entered the league in 1970 and has won the NBA Championship once, in 1977. . But since no record of those events will exist, everyone will just write him off as a crazy old coot. . . . During pregame introductions, Magic Johnson and Nick Van Exel will bump each other and will have to be hospitalized. MEMO: Michael Ventre's column appears in the Daily News four days a week. |
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