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ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO SPOOF PAM ANDERSON'S GOT A THING FOR USTA-BE'S.


Byline: STEVE YOUNG

Learned her lesson? Some people feel that Pamela Anderson's plans to marry rocker Kid Rock after her traumatic marriage to Motley Crue's Tommy Lee This article is about the American drummer Tommy Lee. For other uses, see Tommy.
For the actor, see Tommy Lee Jones.


Tommy Lee (born Thomas Lee Bass on October 3, 1962), is a Greek American rock musician.
 shows that she is addicted to bad-boy rockers. ``Nothing could be farther from the truth,'' said the entirely-too-easy-to-look-at Anderson. ``I'm just hooked on has-beens.''

Now, now, boys, can't we all get along? Los Angeles Los Angeles (lôs ăn`jələs, lŏs, ăn`jəlēz'), city (1990 pop. 3,485,398), seat of Los Angeles co., S Calif.; inc. 1850.  City Councilmen Dennis Zine and Bernard Parks and Police Chief Bratton all got their panties pant·ie or pant·y  
n. pl. pant·ies
Short underpants for women or children. Often used in the plural.



[Diminutive of pant2.
 in a twist over whether police officer candidates could be considered if they had used drugs in the past. If the councilmen had their way, neither of the last two American presidents could have become L.A. policemen.

Hmm. Think Zine and Parks could go federal with this one?

Now the Burbank City Council has volunteered to take drug tests. But might it be more important if those who vote for city council members took drug tests?

G-8 it a great par-tay?! Proving the old adage that you can't take the frat boy out of the leader of a sovereign nation, right after President George W. Bush gave an unsolicited massage to German Chancellor Merkel and dropped the S-bomb at the G-8 Summit in Russia, he tapped a keg for world leaders For a list of heads of state, see .
World leaders is a MMORPG. The game involves creating a state, joining an alliance and going into war. It is mostly played by players from Israel, China, USA, Britain, Brazil and Saudi-Arabia.
, dropped a water balloon A water balloon, or water bomb is a simple small latex rubber balloon filled with water. The user may then throw the water filled balloon at a desired target. They are commonly used by children in carrying out practical jokes or water balloon fights.  on French President Chirac and topped it all off as he commandeered a midnight panty raid on the St. Petersburg All Girls Institute for Noble Maidens Institute for Noble Maidens (Russian: Институт благородных девиц) was a type of educational institution in late Imperial Russia. .

In related news, Andrew Dice Clay announced plans to sue President Bush. ``If this president continues to work blue, I'll have no choice,'' said the formally hot X-rated comic who few barely remember. ``I don't like doing it, but I have no other way of making a living.''

Mickey Mouse budget cuts: Disney has announced layoffs of more than 600 employees and nearly 55 cartoon figures. ``It's not that we pay our animated characters all that much,'' said Disney budget director Scrooge McDuck. ``It's just fun to watch their heads explode when they get their pink slips.''

Another job for Tony Danza? ``According To Jim'' sitcom writer/producer Warren Bell was nominated by the White House to sit on the Corporation for Public Broadcasting The Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB) is a private non-profit corporation which is chartered and funded by the United States Federal Government to promote public broadcasting.

The CPB was created on November 7, 1967 when U.S. president Lyndon B.
, the board that (dis)approves PBS PBS
 in full Public Broadcasting Service

Private, nonprofit U.S. corporation of public television stations. PBS provides its member stations, which are supported by public funds and private contributions rather than by commercials, with educational, cultural,
 funding. Some say that writing innocuous two-act, formula story lines and rewriting someone else's gags till 3 a.m. while dining on free food sent in from Art's Deli and the Daily Grill is not a government career path, that writing dialogue for a network sitcom is just about crafting funny jokes. ``Not necessarily,'' said Bell. ``Remember, I worked at a Jim Belushi show.''

Some of Bell's programming ideas for PBS include ``Larry David Live From Lincoln Center Live from Lincoln Center is an ongoing series of musical performances produced by Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts in conjunction with Thirteen/WNET in New York City. ,'' ``Global Warming, Schmobal Warming,'' hosted by John Stossel, and adding a wacky next-door neighbor to ``Newshour With Jim Lehrer.''

Canseco saves time: In his new expose on baseball, former star ballplayer Jose Canseco has named the Major League players not using banned or illegal drugs. ``It was just good economics,'' said the former Oakland, Texas, Boston, Toronto, Tampa Bay, New York New York, state, United States
New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of
, Anaheim, Chicago, Montreal slugger. ``With the price of ink and paper today, it just made more sense to just name the players who didn't use drugs. Besides I already knew how to spell both of their names.''

Hot enough for ya? With temperatures regularly reaching more than 100 degrees across America, Al Gore says it's a sure sign of global warming. On the other hand, radio talker Sean Hannity is blaming global warming on Gore. ``When Gore's film, `An Inconvenient Truth,' came out in April, temperatures were at least 30 degrees cooler,'' said the Fox host. ``It's simple. You want to stop all the global-warming talk, you stop talking about global warming. Right, Marty?''
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Copyright 2006, Gale Group. All rights reserved. Gale Group is a Thomson Corporation Company.

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Title Annotation:Viewpoint
Publication:Daily News (Los Angeles, CA)
Date:Jul 23, 2006
Words:621
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