ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO SPOOF COMEDY AMID WEEK OF TRAGEDY.Byline: STEVE YOUNG Two least favorite baby names in the coming year: Katrina ... and Fema. Missed opportunity? If they really wanted to deal with the breakdown of communications during the storm, someone should have sent a team of telemarketers down to New Orleans New Orleans (ôr`lēənz –lənz, ôrlēnz`), city (2006 pop. 187,525), coextensive with Orleans parish, SE La., between the Mississippi River and Lake Pontchartrain, 107 mi (172 km) by water from the river mouth; founded . Of course, most of the calls would have had to be made at dinnertime. And another? Time Shares of America made food and getaways available for the victims of the storm. Unfortunately, evacuees Resident or transient persons who have been ordered or authorized to move by competent authorities, and whose movement and accommodation are planned, organized and controlled by such authorities. turned the offer down, as they would have been required to listen to a three-hour presentation for an annual vacation plan in Arizona. Free gift and buffet were included. For those who don't believe that our borders are an easy mark:, One word - Katrina. Next thing you know these hurricanes will want driver's licenses. Internet help on the way: Queen Ihope Toscamya of Nigeria has offered Katrina storm victims a substantial percentage of her $90 million inheritance left to her by her husband, the king. All the Gulf Coast evacuees need do is give their Social Security number and address (if they have one). Question of the week: Where will ``Cops'' and ``Girls Gone Wild'' shoot their shows? Haven't they been punished enough? Michael Jackson Noun 1. Michael Jackson - United States singer who began singing with his four brothers and later became a highly successful star during the 1980s (born in 1958) Michael Joe Jackson, Jackson has announced plans to record a song to help Katrina's victims. It may not be a big seller. ``Things aren't that bad,'' said a statement from the New Orleans' homeless and unemployed evacuees. Jackson's offer to take in as many children as needed as needed prn. See prn order. was turned over to Santa Maria Santa Maria, city, Brazil Santa Maria (sän`tə mərē`ə), city (1991 pop. 217,592), Rio Grande do Sul state, S Brazil. It is a major railroad terminus and the site of an important military base. prosecutors. President taps top government official to investigate Katrina: In a bold move, President George W. Bush named himself to head the commission that will look into ``what went right,'' and what White House officials are calling, ``what almost went right'' with FEMA and Homeland Security's reaction to the hurricane. Others named to the commission were FEMA's Michael Brown Michael or Mike Brown may refer to: In politics:
Why this guy? While many people debated the choice of someone who was asked to resign from the International Arabian Horse Association The Arabian Horse Association (AHA) is the single national organization that is the only breed registry that registers Arabian horses in the United States. It also works with the United States Equestrian Federation to sanction horse shows and license judges for Arabian horses. because of ``supervision failures'' to run FEMA, still others questioned the fact that he was chosen because he was the former FEMA head's college roommate. But there were some who accepted it as all part of doing business in Washington. ``Selecting a well-connected guy who managed a sports organization, and not too well, to be in charge of rescuing the American people An American people may be:
Rapper blames President Bush for late booty call: Rapper Kanye West took time from his NBC NBC in full National Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. commercial broadcasting company. It was formed in 1926 by RCA Corp., General Electric Co. (GE), and Westinghouse and was the first U.S. company to operate a broadcast network. Hurricane Benefit Concert to accuse the president of not being there for African-Americans. Bush blamed West for really bad rhyming. There was other news? Saddam admits murder: Iraqi President Jalal Talabani told Iraqi television that an investigating judge ``was able to extract confessions from Saddam's mouth'' about numerous executions he had allegedly personally ordered during his 24 years in power. But many experts see the seemingly bad news for Hussein's defense as a clever maneuver on the part of the alleged madman. ``Saddam's team wins this one,'' said an actor who plays Larry Parker on TV. ``Not only was murder the prosecution's top charge, but because of a legal technicality The term legal technicality is a casual or colloquial phrase referring to a technical aspect of law. The phrase is not a term of art in the law; it has no exact meaning, nor does it have a legal definition. , attempted genocide also falls under the homicide umbrella.'' Said one frustrated prosecutor, ``Now we're left with only torture, rape and mutilation Mutilation See also Brutality, Cruelty. Mutiny (See REBELLION.) Absyrtus hacked to death; body pieces strewn about. [Gk. Myth.: Walsh Classical, 3] Agatha, St. had breasts cut off. [Christian Hagiog. .'' Finally, the Lakers make a move: By signing of 7-foot-3 Hall of Famer Kareem Abdul Jabbar - again - L.A. adds much-needed height to the coaching staff. California comes out; governor shoves it back in: The California Legislature has approved a bill allowing homosexuals to marry. Soon after, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger promised to veto the legislation. ``The governor believes gay couples are entitled to full protection under the law, and if that includes getting married, that's fine,'' said an anonymous administration insider. ``It's marrying each other that's the problem.'' Can't add anything to this quote of the week: Barbara Bush about the New Orleans evacuees housed in the Houston Astrodome as·tro·dome n. A transparent dome on the top of an aircraft, through which celestial observations are made for navigation. Noun 1. : ``And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them.'' Bob Denver passes: The Captain votes Gilligan and Maynard G. off the island. G'night, li'l buddy. CAPTION(S): photo Photo: Barbara Bush, mother of President George W. Bush, gives us the quote of the week. Tim Sloan/AFP/Getty Images |
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