ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO SPOOF RUSHING OFF TO GET BACK ON HIS MEDS.

Byline: STEVE YOUNG

Which one is off his meds? Radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh accused actor and Parkinsons sufferer Michael J. Fox of being ``either off his medication or acting'' during the filming of a campaign ad for a pro-embryonic stem-cell research candidate. The commercial showed Fox swaying in a chair, consistent with effects of Parkinsons even on many patients who are on medication. ``Using Viagra to combat erectile dysfunction and an anal cyst to avoid combat in Vietnam, I know when someone is faking,'' said Limbaugh.

In unrelated news, embryonic stem cell research is still years away from finding the cure for stupidity, ensuring Limbaugh of many more years of successful whatever it is 15 million people listen to.

They better have a really big captain's chair: After only one meeting with Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, LAUSD School Superintendent David Brewer says that the two are now ``joined at the hip.''

``The only problem we see is the difference in our height,'' said Brewer, but it does really prepares us for the city's annual July 4 picnic and the big three-legged race which the Mayor and I plan to win!''

Vote if you dare: In an attempt to fight back over her opponent's campaign, which sent out ``vote only if you want to get arrested or deported'' letters to Latino households, Rep. Loretta Sanchez has sent out letters to Republican households making them aware of the little known ``vote for the idiot whose office sent out the first letter and you may want to be deported'' law.

Stop the presses: Porn star Mary Carey said on Monday she was dropping out of the California governor's race to be with her injured mother, who has been hospitalized in Florida since jumping off a four-story building last month ... which many believe was her response to learning that her daughter is a porn star who ran for governor.

Maybe he just forgot: White House spokesman Tony Snow explained President Bush's statement that his Iraq strategy had ``never been the course'' when he and his administration had publicly stated just that dozens of time of the past few years. ``Just because you say something doesn't mean you `been' it,'' said Snow. ``And since no one can actually `been' `stay the course,' questioning it is based on a false presumption that is grammatically hypothetical at best and I'm not up here to answer hypothetical questions for it would only undermine the troops and embolden the terrorists.

``Next question,'' Snow added.

Raider of the Lost AARP: 64-year-old Harrison Ford announced his readiness to don the character of Indiana Jones for the next film in the successful series. Ford also said that Sean Connery may reprise the part of his father, but Connery has been reluctant to commit. ``Have you seen Harrison lately?'' asked Connery. ``I think it would make more sense for him to play my dad."

In other Indian Jones news, ``Raiders'' producers announced they have already locked in Sylvester Stallone to play Harrison's grandfather.

From bad to worse: Recent polls show that Democratic gubernatorial candidate Phil Angelides has fallen 100 percent behind Gov. Schwarzenegger. ``It was my own fault,'' said Angelides. ``When the pollster asked who I was going to vote for, I just wasn't thinking. Then again, it might get me on Leno.''

I think the Orange Line is about to say its first word -- and it's ``crash!'' Last week the Orange Line celebrated its first official birthday. One-year-old and only thirty accidents in its first 12 months ... about as many as the average 1-year-old. Happy Birth-- Hey! Watchout!

Hope there's enough room in Washington: If the latest information coming out of the Democratic and Republican camps is correct, everyone's going to win.

Non-aging auction: World's oldest teenager Dick Clark is auctioning off his personal collection of musical memorabilia, including items from his old ``Bandstand'' days. While his original microphone and Paul McCartney's guitar will draw a lot of attention, the most interesting bidding is expected to come in the auctioning off of Clark's miracle-working make-up man.

Sticky, this war thing: There's a battle going round and round between non-dietary giants, Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts. If it makes their donuts any cheaper, all I can say is ... ``sweet.''