ALL BETS ARE ON FOR BETTIS.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Care to contemplate a few more XL exotic wagers that can somehow be traced to Sunday's SBXL - ones that you can't actually wager on, so there's no out-of-pocket anxiety connected to them?

--What will be lower: The temperature outside of Ford Field in Detroit at kickoff, or your expectations of the Rolling Stones sticking to their lyrics during their halftime performance?

--Who makes the first blunder calling heads or tails on the opening coin flip: Jerome Bettis or anyone on Seattle?

--What's the most appealing thing about the pay-per-view Lingerie Bowl at halftime: Heads or tails?

--What will be longer: The yawn you'll be trying to hold back at the two-minute warning near halftime when it's a 3-3 game, or Troy Polamalu's hair?

--What will be higher: Shaun Alexander's rushing attempts, or Shaun Alexander's concussions?

--Who will be the first to score: Shaun Alexander, Jerome Bettis or the Burger King guy on a wild scramble?

--Which will happen first: ESPN's six-hour pregame show pulls up lame because of lack of material, or Chris Berman takes a microphone and goes into the crowd to ask everyone possible their Super Bowl prediction?

--Which will end first: Jerome Bettis' first short-yardage gain on third-and-goal from the 2, or Jerry Rice's run on ``Dancing With the Stars''?

--What's more likely to generate the first laugh: One of the nine commercial spots by Budweiser in the first quarter, or those monkeys in the office building promoting a career- placement Web site that, in the end, no one will remember?

--Who will score more: The L.A. Avengers in their Arena Football League game, or your brother-in-law using ``Roethlisberger'' in a game of Scrabble a couple of hours before kickoff?

--Which is more of a hassle to spell: Hasselbeck or Roethlisberger?

--Who fades quicker into obscurity after the game: Hasselbeck or Roethlisberger?

--Which will take up more time: The first referee review of a coach's challenge or John Madden explaining what happened on the field during the play?

--What will be the first score: A Pittsburgh touchdown, a Seattle field goal, or a scalper outside the stadium dumping a counterfeit ticket on a plain-clothed policeman?

--What will be the first turnover: Fumble, interception or Keith Richards stumbling off stage?

--Who will receive the first holding penalty: Seattle's Chris Gray, Pittsburgh's Alan Faneca, or your wife preventing you from double-dipping in the sour cream?

--What's the biggest myth about Super Bowl Sunday: Water pipes are more susceptible to bursting because of all the toilets flushing during halftime, or more avocados are sold for guacamole dip this time of year instead of Cinco de Mayo?

And are the two related?