ACADEMIC'S SEXIST MATH REMARK ADDS UP ... I THINK.

Byline: Stephanie Becker Local View

STILL more heat for Larry Summers, the president of Harvard.

Several weeks ago Summers opined that women might not have the right stuff when it comes to math and science, and that's why men dominate those fields. What he didn't count on was a lot of outraged women. Women in math and science. And English. And business. And art. Now there are so many furious faculty members that they plan a ``no confidence'' vote on Tuesday - ominously, the Ides of March.

At first I found myself siding with these brainy broads of academia. Normally, so blatant an offense would send my feminist meter off the charts. Unfortunately, I resemble Summers' remark.

President Summers said the problem is about ``issues of intrinsic aptitude.'' (He apparently lacks the intrinsic aptitude to speak in normal sentences.) His point is that the dearth of dames in math and science ain't just about gender discrimination. It's about not being as smart as men.

So, why am I not joining the ranks of those incensed by Summers' remarks? After all, I was voted ``Class Women's Libber'' in high school, back when Title IX was the newest chapter in the fight for equality. And I am eternally grateful for the sisters who blazed the trail. But the ugly truth is I still have to use my fingers to add 8 to 5. The ``Seven Times Table'' remains a deep dark mystery. And don't get me started on the Pythagorean theorem, because I certainly can't.

Am I the living embodiment of the statistical bulge that lacks the full- strength math gene?

One Summers supporter defended the ``provocative'' speech. The way he explained it is if you look at a graph of women and men and mathematical ability, the women are all bunched up in the middle, while the men are most represented at either end - the smarty-pants end and the dopey end. He went on to add that the prison population proves the point. It's mostly men. I guess those would be the guys making up the dopey end of the graph.

I mentioned this to a male friend who has lived a life of lawful behavior, but confessed that he is also mathematically challenged. I asked if he feels bloated once a month and craves chocolate every four weeks.

It turns out he is in touch with his feminine side and is known to gorge on Ring Dings to get the monkey off his back. However, he defended his masculinity by adding that he also has those innate characteristics that make men - well, men. He leaves the wet towel on the floor rather than hanging it up. He swigs down milk directly from the container and sticks it back in the fridge even if there's little more than backwash. He never replaces a finished roll of toilet tissue. And of course, he never asks for directions when lost.

What does this all add up to? It's clear that the often controversial Summers has learned his lesson and calculated just how much crow he has to eat to keep his job. He's apologized publicly at least four times. As for me, it's created a division with my otherwise feminist brethren. I'm just wondering if there is something to this instinctive inability to remember what 7 x 9 equals. Or am I just too lazy to replace the toilet roll?