ABC Hasn't Figured Out That a PC Is Not a Television.

MOST folks have figured out by now that the screen sitting on top of their computers isn't a television set.

But someone ought to clue in the guys behind the scenes at ABC News. As their audience has started drifting away toward this other, smaller screen, they've decided that what we really want to see on our newfangled PCs is an old-fashioned TV news program.

The network kicked off the Net's fall season Sept. 27 with the premiere of Sam [e-mail], a live, streaming video newscast that "airs" three times a week at 12:30 p.m. Eastern time. You can't miss it: It's the only show in its time slot.

The program lasts 15 minutes, which is more than enough time to realize it's a lousy idea. While network viewers might sit still for Sam's shtick, Net users have no use for a TV-style talking head.

Donaldson, whose hairpiece alone has been around longer than any computer network, seems an odd choice to anchor the Web's first network news program. Though he's an experienced political reporter and a tough interviewer, he's miscast in the role of high-tech pioneer. Maybe ABC should have dug up Max Headroom.

Then again, Donaldson's herky-jerky mannerisms are captured perfectly by the choppy, intermittent quality of streaming video. And he does seem to recognize that what he's doing is a little out of place online.

"What are you going to see here? First of all, you're going to get a television program," he said during his first appearance in a two-inch square streaming video window. "But we save on makeup, there's no expensive set back there and the technology will get better."

Let's hope so. I tried to watch the show live three times, only to be stymied each time by apparent Net congestion. (The show's archives are available anytime at http://abcnews.go.com) Such problems are reason enough to watch television programs on an actual television set which works perfectly pretty much every time.

Television also doesn't pester viewers with inane interactive polls. During the first show, Donaldson followed a news item about Dan Quayle's aborted presidential campaign by inviting viewers to choose the correct spelling of potato -- a challenge even Quayle could have mastered in the poll's multiple choice format.

Another episode urged audience members to rate their bosses on a scale from "excellent" to "jerk." Gee, maybe next week Sam will ask about my favorite color.

More promising is the chance to submit questions for the show's guests, who have included former presidents Jimmy Carter and George Bush. It'd be fun to watch Donaldson spend 15 minutes or more grilling public figures with the uncomfortable or offbeat questions Net users might ask in real time.

But that's not how it works. Instead, Donaldson reads one or two viewer questions -- usually softballs -- in an interview that's far too short to uncover anything useful. The rest of the show consists of Sam's reading a few headlines, adding some off-the-cuff commentary and trying to sound happy about working for an audience smaller than the one watching "Roseanne" reruns on UHF.

As television shows go, Sam [e-mail] isn't exactly Emmy-caliber entertainment. But even if it were, it wouldn't stand much chance of keeping the Net's news fans from clicking away to far more informative options.

The Net's news sites, including pages posted by ABC and its corporate affiliates, offer a greater depth and variety of news, weather and sports than any anchorman could ever read. And while the show may eventually offer more interesting interviews or original commentary, I doubt Web users will sit still long enough to see it.

ABC seems to be preparing for convergence, the fabled day when televisions and computers will merge in a dazzling display of info graphics and interactive sitcoms. But while the Internet will someday deliver TV-quality images and sound, it will always offer a more demanding, engaging experience than watching the tube.

Future televisions may offer sporting events with interactive play-calling, e-commerce-enabled sitcoms or even a game show where someone actually wins the million dollars. But as long as they're sitting in a room full of couches, they won't be used in the same way as a PC, a desk and a chair.

Donaldson's show is ill-suited for the Internet because it's designed for people in easy chairs, not office furniture. Net users who want to Watch someone sitting at a desk reading news would be better off looking in a mirror.