A tan can be grand, but liquor still is quicker.

Byline: Best of ... by The Register-Guard

EDITOR'S NOTE: Welcome to Best of ... a weekly look at stuff in our area that we think is worth mentioning. You'll read about places to see, people to meet and things to put in your mouth. More than just a laundry list of local highlights, Best of ... will zero in on some of the things that make us who we are. Each week, our team of experts will comb the area in search of the big and the small, the pretty and the ugly, the salty and the sweet and then - after a scientific selection process that's so complex we can't even tell you about it - we will reveal our picks here.

And while we're at it, we'll pull out a few highlights from our entertainment calendar and point out what's Buzzworthy.

Now, off you go.

We could have sent you to Euphoria for a heart-shaped box of strawberry truffles, to Rhythm & Blooms for a dozen stargazer lilies, or better yet, to anatomical.com, where model human hearts made out of solid dark chocolate go for $9.95.

But we figured it was time to mix it up (so to speak) this Valentine's Day. Why flock to the greeting card section of the grocery store with all the other sheep when you can go to Drain and get yourself a tan and some spirits for your sweetie.

Located in the heart of downtown, a few doors down from Betty's Tourist Trap and not too far from Drain Chain Saw, is a modestly appointed storefront and mini-day salon that offers two tanning beds and three walls of liquor. Drain Liquor Store & Tanning Salon truly is one-stop shopping.

And while we're on the subject of multipurpose liquor stores, consider the Ace Hardware in Arlington, Simple's Apothecary in Wheeler and Ken's Sporting Goods in Crescent, all of which sell spirits.

Drain's last tanning appointment is at 5:30 p.m. and the shop closes at 6 p.m., so you'll have to get there early. Management suggests an appointment and requires "peeper" goggles for your eyes, which sell for $2.50 a pair. We don't recommend wearing these on your hot date.

Once you've caught some pseudo-rays and your skin has that healthy, pink, cherub-like glow, it's time to pick up something sweet and intoxicating. Something red, or at least red-tasting, will do, like cinnamon schnapps. But you also could go all warm and comforting and grab some Kahlua for a late night by the fire.

Or try a special V-Day drink: Aphrodite's Love Potion (brandy, pineapple juice, maraschino cherry); or Valentine's Day Woo-Woo (peach schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, O.J.).

When it comes time to check out, don't mind the sign behind the cash register (`I can only please one person a day, today is not your day, tomorrow doesn't look good either'). We found the staff at the Drain Liquor Store to be friendly and helpful. And if you need mixers, Advil, ice or some energy pills for that long night ahead, they're happy to help.

You're on your own for the rest of the evening. May St. Valentine be with you.

BEST PLACE TO GEAR UP FOR THE BIG DATE

Drain Liquor Store & Tanning Salon

Where: 311 N. First St., Drain

Hours: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday

CAPTION(S):

The Drain Liquor Store and Tanning Salon has two tanning beds and three walls of liquor.