A strange and difficult time for me.

Journalist Adrian Sudbury (pictured) has only weeks to live because of Leukaemia. We have been featuring excerpts from his heart-rending blog.

EVERY day is getting harder now.

Sometimes I start writing and nod off. I suppose that is an accurate reflection of what life is like for me right now.

This is a strange and difficult time for me. I have always worried about silly things and of course so much about those I care for.

With the news that it really is a case of a matter of weeks (I'm still not confident about these doctors' predictions) I was crippled with the anxiety about how I am going to see all my family and friends for a good length of time, and make it so they felt like they had every opportunity to say to me precisely what they wanted.

On Saturday morning, at around 3am, I sat up bolt right. There was no reason other than I could not get the Queen out of my head. I had this overwhelming sense of panic and deep breathing. It was so strange.

She wasn't doing anything, threatening me with a wedgie or a Chinese burn, I just couldn't shake off the panic.

I went into see my parents and explained how I was feeling - left out the Queen bit initially.

My dad called the district nurses out and they injected me with a strong sedative which got me back to sleep within about ten minutes.

At that stage I decided the source of the anxiety was a number of factors.

Of course the obvious one about a drawn-out death still worries the hell out of me.

I still wake up at exactly 2am or between 3am and 4am. The nurses always come out and my family, as ever, try and make the most of it.

I was so proud of myself because now everyone has had the opportunity to say goodbye properly. I feel like I have said everything too and if I died tomorrow, it would be sad, but there would be no regrets.

On the last couple of slots on Thursday afternoon I had to keep pacing up and down the room to stop myself from falling asleep.

Now things have switched round and I going to put myself and my family at the centre of all this.

I am sleeping for hours on end and at unpredictable times.

The blog is getting harder to write and my focus is waning but it will keep going as best I can. I think my mum and Liam will be able to keep things moving on when necessary.