A record performance ...

Everyone knows that football coaches are proud of their profession and love their kids. Sometimes, too well. And at such times, they are quite capable of losing one for the Old Gipper--the way a couple of high school coaches did out in Springville, IL, last season.

It seems that one of the their quarterbacks went into their game with a great chance of breaking the league record for career passing average, and both coaches decided to make sure he got the chance to do it.

With 22 seconds left to play and the quarterback still 29 yards short, the record appeared out of reach--especially since the opponents had the ball and a big lead.

But as a man named William Shakespeare once said, "mischief was a-foot." One of the coaches called time out, and met with the other coach in the middle of the field--a weird happening. (They were scripting the final 22 seconds!) It went like this:

SCENE 1: The defense (the QB's team) allowed the offense to score a touchdown.

SCENE 2: The scoring team deliberately kicked off out of bounds, giving the QB's team possession with eight seconds remaining.

SCENE 3: With nobody on defense standing within 20 yards of the ball, the QB throws a five-yard pass to a receiver.

SCENE 4: The receiver runs to a spot on the sideline where his coach is standing.

The 37-yard "gain" gives the QB the conference career record for passing yardage.

The incident surpassed understanding. Certainly the coaches believed they were doing "something nice for a deserving kid." But how can coaches talk about honesty, playing by the rules, the sanctity of records and tradition, then go out and conspire a fraud?

What about all the previous holders of the record who sweated and gave their blood to achieve excellence in their sport? What message did the fraud deliver to them?

But as the soothsayers love to say about our beloved toy department, sport, "America, America, God shed His grace on thee," a real American hero emerged from that mess cooked up by the two coaches.

It was the quarterback. After thinking about that great kindness bestowed upon him, he sent a letter to the president of the high school conference asking him to strike the record from the books because it diminished the accomplishments of the players who had established the record before him.