A place to call when things get rough.

Byline: Kevin T. Baldwin

SHREWSBURY - Domestic violence and sexual assault have been problems since the beginning of time.

"Unfortunately, it's just something that has gone on for centuries," said Janet Trippi. "It's not obvious. Many victims kept quiet, not speaking to others about their own domestic abuse problems or what might have been going on in their homes. Many are afraid to leave due to finances or because there might be children involved."

For years, those affected by domestic violence felt as though they had nowhere they could turn, so as a result, they felt "trapped in quiet desperation," Trippi said. "These are victims who don't know where they can turn to."

In 1990, Trippi attended a meeting with 50 others, including fellow Shrewsbury residents Bette Oliver and Joanne Tyndall, to see what they could do to help those affected by domestic violence and to help educate the public on the best ways to prevent abuse and violence.

Start of ADVISE

As a result of the meeting, Against Domestic Violence in Shrewsbury Education, known as ADVISE, came into existence, with Trippi and Tyndall as co-chairpersons.

ADVISE provides referral services for domestic violence and sexual assault victims.

"Before Rachel's Box and ADVISE, many domestic abuse victims would only have the phonebook for a resource," Oliver said. "They'd call one place and they'd get referred to someplace else, as so on."

Then, the victims would have to explain their situations a multitude of times.

"Can you imagine how embarrassing that must be? To have to tell your personal story of domestic abuse or rape repeatedly, over and over, each time you get referred to another agency because you didn't know who to call first?" Trippi said.

Police Department

It was former Police Chief A. Wayne Sampson, Trippi said, who really helped coordinate the first meeting which would result in establishing ADVISE in town.

"The concept of having an ADVISE group, turned into a terrific resource for the community," Sampson said "We in law enforcement have known for a long time that police can't do everything alone. Police officers do a terrific job when they respond to the initial domestic violence call. Officers ensure the safety of all the parties, advise people of their legal rights and arrest when appropriate. But, after awhile, they have to leave the scene to go onto the next call."

Sampson said a domestic violence situation is one of the most emotional situations anyone can be in and it can also be traumatic on a spouse or children to witness officers come into a home and place a family member under arrest.

"The department is not equipped to handle those types of calls. They don't have the training to offer psychological advice to comfort the families. This is where community groups such as ADVISE come in to help the departments," Sampson said. "They were concerned citizens looking to do a referral service and this (ADVISE) is truly a very valuable community-oriented program that benefits everyone."

Sampson made suggestions and connected ADVISE with other organizations that deal with domestic violence issues, according to Trippi.

"We formed a mission statement and also took a 20-hour state training course sponsored through New Hope Inc., which is another group which helps anyone victimized by family and relationship violence," Trippi said.

The goal of ADVISE, according to its mission statement, is to provide a break in the cycle of domestic violence by "working together with the community through education, intervention and support."

"Since we started, we have amassed quite a notebook with names and numbers for many state agencies who can help victims of domestic abuse," Trippi said.

Rachel's Box

Trippi was prompted to start ADVISE when she began seeing wooden box displays around town put out by a similar group, Rachel's Box, of Concord. The group places wooden boxes throughout numerous communities which contain general information on domestic violence and related issues, as well as information to help victims keep safe, such as safety planning, support resources and hotlines.

"I started seeing these display boxes around town with the pamphlets and literature for Rachel's Box and after reading about what they do to help, I thought it would be a great thing to do for Shrewsbury," Trippi said. Trippi said the displays aren't placed in a visible area to ensure confidentiality.

"Someone who might be a rape victim or a victim of domestic abuse would be less likely to pick up a pamphlet in a highly visible area for fear she might be recognized," Trippi said. "So, we placed our wooden displays off to the side where someone can pick up information more discreetly."

Informational hot line

Trippi said the goal of ADVISE is to not to act as professional counselors for victims, but strictly to refer them to appropriate resources, such as: hotlines for abuse victims, rape crisis, elder abuse; emergency shelters and temporary housing for victims via New Hope, Abby's House and Daybreak and to act as an informational help line.

Sampson said there's been a tremendous change in how the public views domestic violence.

"Changing how the public perceives domestic violence became an important issue in society," Sampson said. "ADVISE's timing was incidental to a public outcry to educate the public on domestic violence."

ADVISE also became a great way for the Police Department to "collaborate with citizens and receive mutual training" in domestic violence, according to Sampson.

"We had ADVISE join every one of our command officers to attend (the New Hope) training," Sampson said. "It was a valuable experience. It was a terrific way for ADVISE to build a relationship with the police supervisors and it also was good for the supervisors to understand why these citizens had their own individual interests in domestic violence that they did. That interaction is what made the project successful."

Abuse spans all ages

Trippi and Oliver both said since ADVISE was established, they discovered how domestic abuse spans all ages.

"I've spoken with victims, girls, some as young as 15," Trippi said.

"On the other side of the spectrum, I've personally spoken with women in their 70s, grandmothers, some who have been in an abusive marriage for decades," Oliver said.

Some callers to the ADVISE helpline will not identify themselves as the victim, according to Trippi.

"Sometimes they'll say they're calling for a friend, or a relative, or a neighbor and they might be, but other times, well, you have to learn to `read between the lines,'" Trippi said.

ADVISE has sponsored the Clothesline Project, which displays images and messages by rape and domestic abuse victims (or by those who have lost loved ones as a result of domestic violence) on T-shirts. The project has been displayed at events such as the Spirit of Shrewsbury Festival or as an individual event held on the Shrewsbury Public Library lawn.

"Some of the messages can be extremely powerful," Trippi said.

Several people who have seen the displays have approached Trippi, Oliver, Tyndall and other members of ADVISE, about their own experiences.

Oliver said while ADVISE will counsel victims, "if there are weapons in the house or if there's a high level of danger, we will always refer the caller to the police."

Trippi said ADVISE has seen a decline in calls this year, but said the struggling U.S. economy could eventually play a role which might spike the number of domestic violence calls ADVISE receives.

ADVISE has also made a donation of $2,500 to Youth and Family Services.

"We did that to assist Youth and Family Services with their after-school program at the middle school which tries to help students develop their own inner resources and to learn to control their tempers," Trippi said.

ADVISE will host its annual tag sale from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday, June 7, at the First Congregational Church, 19 Church Road. Household items such as linens, gardening tools, holiday decorations and children's toys will be sold.

To donate items for the ADVISE tag sale, or for more information about ADVISE, call [phone], or [phone].

ART: PHOTO

PHOTOG: Record photo/KEVIN T. BALDWIN

CUTLINE: Janet Trippi (left) and Bette Oliver work to help those affected by domestic violence.