A phobia for everyone: are you sure you haven't got one?

Byline: Denis Kilcommons ,

Everybody has heard of agoraphobia - the fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places.

But what about androphobia and ancraophobia? Give up?

They mean the fear of men and the fear of wind, and if a young lady was to be afflicted with both phobias and fell for a chap who suffered from wind, you would have a tragedy to rival Romeo and Juliet without quite the same romantic resonance.

"But soft! What sound through yonder window breaks?"

"Whoops. 'Scuse me."

I found these odd fears on a fascinating internet website called The Phobia List and the compiler swears they are all true and verifiable.

People who suffer from the fear of number 13, for instance, have triskaidekaphobia. I have no quibble with that, but why would anyone be frightened of a number?

Then there is ablutophobia, a fear of washing or bathing (and we've all known folk with that), agyrophobia , which is fear of crossing the street, bufonophobia (fear of toads), gamophobia (fear of marriage) and gynophobia (fear of women).

Athazagoraphobia is the fear of being forgotten or ignored - I'm sorry, who are you? - and I put my hands up and admit that I suffer from atomosophobia and ballistophobia, which are the fear of atomic explosions and missiles or bullets.

Kenophobia has everything to do with voids or empty spaces and nothing to do with Ken, no matter what Barbie says he did in her divorce papers, cacophobia has a wonderful ring to it but you might be surprised to learn it is a fear of ugliness, and catagelophobia is the fear of being ridiculed, something that someone my height has to live with.

Chirophobia is a fear of hands, dipsophobia (drinking), ecophobia (home) and ombrophobia is a fear of rain or of being rained upon, so always remember to take your ombrella.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is a fear of long words and just try to pronounce it, while panophobia is a fear of everything and phobophobia is a fear of phobias.

But I think my favourite is Walloonphobia - a fear of the Walloons.

I mean, come on. Who could be afraid of three million Belgians?

Besides, my wife's grandfather was a Walloon and there's not many can say that.