A path of her own.

In a rare interview actor Ally Sheedy tells how happiness for her meant leaving Hollywood behind

High Art is captivating in no small measure because of the presence of star Ally Sheedy, who updates her old Breakfast Club image with a magnetic performance. Sheedy spoke to The Advocate from Australia, where she is shooting a new film. Married to stage actor David Lansbury, Sheedy conducted this interview over the loud protests of 4-year-old daughter Rebecca. Comments Sheedy on her wailing offspring: "She has a very strong will." A family trait, apparently.

How did you become involved with High Art?

Well, I didn't have an agent at the time. I was told about this script by Tim Engel, who had worked at my old agency. He came across it because [costar] Radha Mitchell was his client. He told me that there was a great character for me there, and even sent me a copy of it. Luckily, it was an old copy that actually had Lisa's [Cholodenko, the director] phone number on it. So I called her and the casting director and asked if I could fly myself to New York to audition for them.

Why? What was about the character of Lucy that appealed to you?

Lucy makes total sense to me. Emotionally and mentally and in all of her actions, she's probably the closest character to me, myself, Ally, that I've ever come across.

Hmm. Now people will probate. think that you are secretly a lesbian and do heroin and take photographs.

People are too focused on the surface. I am talking about the woman's emotional life and the decisions she makes! Did I ever do heroin? No. A lot of the stuff on the "outside" of the character doesn't relate to me at all, but the essence of her emotional life does. She feels and observes things very deeply. She has a natural talent, and she probably got a lot of attention for it at a certain point in her life, but really she just wanted to do her own work and be left alone.

Obviously there's a correlation of sorts with your own life as an actress. You made The Breakfast Club, St. Elmo's Fire, War Games--but now you're describing a situation where you didn't even have an agent. What happened to your career?

I'm not cut out to do the things you have to do to make yourself into a movie star in Hollywood. That's not my path. I was very close to it, I saw it, there were choices I probably should have made if I wanted that, but I didn't.

People think you are supposed to want to make a million dollars and have your picture in the paper. It's really hard to understand if you haven't experienced what that world is like. I just needed to get out. I was really unhappy. I needed to find something different for myself.

Also, in that period I was really unafraid of journalists. I had grown up surrounded by them because of my mother [literary agent Charlotte Sheedy]. I liked writers! I got warned about journalists by Sean Penn, who told me, "Don't talk to anybody." What a crazy attitude, I thought. And then I got burned really badly and found out for myself. I am trying to find a balance between doing just enough publicity to make sure High Art does well and at the same time trying to keep myself out of the limelight. I haven't done interviews for ten years.

I was only 18 when I went to Hollywood. In New York up until that time, I'd done some theater, lots of ballet lessons, some television commercials. And after realizing I didn't want the Hollywood star career, I went back to a smaller scale of work, just looking for projects that I wanted to do. USA Network has rescued me several times with good, entertaining films that had roles for me in which I actually got to do something and have some fun. Television movies would pay the rent. And recently I did some independent films--Highball, Groupies, and The Autumn Heart--but none of them have been released yet.

I look to the actresses who have figured out a different way, like Judy Davis, Holly Hunter, Frances McDormand, and Alfre Woodard, who's my hero. I think it's possible.

You mentioned your mom a little while ago. Did the fact of her being a lesbian influence you in terms of taking the role of Lucy? Were you worried at all about any implications for yourself in playing a lesbian?

Look, the fact that Lucy is a lesbian means about as much to me as the fact that she's a heroin snorter, or has dark hair, or is a photographer. It's just a part of her character. It doesn't jump out at me in any way.

You can't really ask me that question the way you'd ask someone else, though, because of my family life: My mom is a lesbian, my dad is straight. My mom isn't in the closet, either. I always knew that people were all different. Lesbianism just happens to be what I know because it was my life.

Do you have a favorite film of yours?

Right now I'd have to say it's this one. High Art is such a beautiful film. It's a love story, all about seduction. But it's also about the desire for success and fame, the seduction of power and money, and the ways in which different people deal with that. It's really about issues that come up for everybody. It's a very human story, a great story, which is why I find it so funny that there's all this worry about the drugs and what people will think.

Rich is a contributor to The Village Voice and a commentator on the National Public Radio series The World.