A note to teen-agers: Do all that you can to save a friend's life.

Byline: Straight Stuff by Jerry Gjesvold For The Register-Guard

If you're in high school, I'm writing this for you. I hope you'll take a few minutes to read it, because I'm asking you to do something for your friends. On behalf of all the adults in your life, I'm asking for your help. The truth is, we need it.

You already know that your friends listen to you more than they listen to adults. You also know much more than we do about how your friends are going to celebrate the prom and graduation this year. You'll be at those parties.

Most of us won't.

That said, would you be willing to do one simple thing to help keep your friends safe this year? I'd be lying if I said it was easy, by the way. Adults don't do it very well with each other, either. But it's just too important not to ask. So here it is.

When you're at a party, or anywhere else, and you see a friend using alcohol or other drugs, will you tell them you're concerned about their possibly driving? It's actually pretty simple. Only takes about 10 seconds. And it could save their life.

Maybe you're smiling right now. I know it's hard to imagine doing something like that. How awkward you would feel. They might get mad. You might even feel as if you were somehow betraying your friend.

But think about this question: What does it really mean to betray someone? Is it betraying them to ask them not to do something that could get them seriously hurt, or killed, or do the same to someone else? Or is it betraying them to do nothing because we're afraid to or we think we'll look bad?

It's obvious where I stand on this. I think that doing nothing is the real betrayal.

Some of us live every day with the knowledge that we could have spoken up, and because we did nothing, someone died - or worse, a young person ended up in a nursing home for life. I don't want you to ever have that feeling of, `I wish I had only said something!'

You have the power to make a difference, to really help your friends. All I'm asking is that you find the courage to speak up. If it's too hard to do alone, then get a friend and together approach the person who's drinking or using. That can make it a little easier.

Maybe they'll get upset. Maybe they'll make fun of you. Maybe they'll just laugh and say it's OK, don't worry about it. But they just might let you help them figure out how to get home safely. And you'll have been a real friend.

One last thing. Whatever you decide to say, if you're with someone who's drinking or using, please don't - under any circumstances - get in the car with them.

They may say `I'm fine,' or `it's just this once,' or `nothing's going to happen.' They may believe that absolutely. But they really don't know, no matter how sure they seem.

You might or might not express your concern for them, but getting in the car with them is a whole different thing. That's putting your life at risk, too. Please don't!

Thanks for reading. Thanks for thinking about my request. Maybe it'll come up this year. I hope it doesn't. Maybe you'll be challenged to do something difficult. But you'll know that you didn't betray them by doing nothing.

Should the worst happen, you'll know that you tried. It's much easier to live with that.

The opinions expressed in this column are those of the writer. As Serenity Lane's statewide coordinator of employer services, Jerry Gjesvold helps companies across Oregon create and manage their drug-free workplace policies and programs. More information is available on the Serenity Lane Web site at www.serenitylane.org.

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