A mother finds love in loss.

Byline: Mark Baker The Register-Guard

CORVALLIS - What to say after almost two years and you still don't know where your daughter's remains are? Or what happened to her?

Cammy Wilberger just began by saying this: "The only thing I can say to you is, I love you. There's not much more we can do except express from the bottom of our hearts how much you mean to us."

The mother of Brooke Wilberger, who disappeared from a Corvallis apartment complex on May 24, 2004, was addressing about 200 people Tuesday night at Oregon State University's LaSells Stewart Center. Many of them were volunteers who helped search for Wilberger, a 19-year-old Brigham Young University student and Elmira High School graduate, in those first few frantic days after the blond-haired, blue-eyed girl's abduction in broad daylight shocked the state.

Brooke Wilberger was washing lamp posts that morning at the Oak Park Apartments, which her sister and brother-in-law managed, just two blocks from where her mother spoke Tuesday.

Joel Patrick Courtney, 40, was charged in August with her abduction and murder. He is awaiting trial in Albuquerque, N.M., for the alleged rape of a foreign exchange student at the University of New Mexico in the fall of 2004. Oregon authorities plan to extradite and try Courtney, who police suspect is a serial killer, after the New Mexico trial concludes.

Tuesday's talk by Cammy Wilberger also included songs and a slide show of Brooke's life, along with brief remarks from Lt. Ron Noble of the Corvallis Police Department and Peggy Pierson, coordinator for the Benton County Emergency Management Association.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Student Association at OSU sponsored the talk.

The Wilbergers are devout Mormons, and Cammy Wilberger spoke about how she has relied on her faith through the unimaginable horror of losing a child to a killing.

"Faith is believing that we might not understand all things," she said, her words pushed out by heavy breath for most of the 45 minutes she spoke. "But he does."

"We'll keep going," she continued, often looking down at her husband, Greg Wilberger, and the rest of her family seated in the second row of the auditorium.

"Has it been easy? No. I still cry. The tears are right there all the time. It's not been easy to smile," said the woman who often does so nonetheless.

Tom Sherry, the adviser to OSU's Mormon students association, called Cammy Wilberger on Feb. 20, which would have been Brooke's 21st birthday, and asked if she would speak close to the two-year anniversary of her daughter's disappearance. `And I thought, `How can I not go?' ' Cammy Wilberger told the crowd.

She talked about the humbling experience this has been for her family, the "special" and "unprecedented" bonding that occurred in this community through the search for Brooke, and how "the support continues to this day."

She also talked about the difficulty of knowing how Brooke, the second-youngest of her six children, must have died.

"It was dark and painful and ugly and lonely. Probably one of the most horrible and despicable ways a young woman could die," Cammy Wilberger said.

But she knows God was there with her daughter, she said. "I know that in my heart."

She thanked the Corvallis Police Department for its ongoing support and sensitivity. She recalled the day she and a Corvallis police detective drove back to Veneta and how the detective had to search through all of Brooke's things. "As she began to go through them, it was very difficult for me," Cammy Wilberger said. "But she was so sensitive."

Of her daughter, she ended with this: "She knew where she was going. She just got there before the rest of us."

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

- PROVERBS 3: 5-6 OF THE OLD TESTAMENT,

a passage which Cammy Wilberger has recited to herself every day since the disappearance of her daughter, Brooke, on May 24, 2004

BROOKE WILBERGER MEMORIAL A memorial service for Brooke Wilberger will be held June 24 in Eugene with time and place to be announced

CAPTION(S):

Cammy Wilberger greets friends and family Tuesday in Corvallis after an emotional speech concerning the death of her daughter, Brooke. After an emotional speech concerning the death of her daughter, Brooke, Cammy Wilberger is greeted by friends and family to show support. They gathered on the Oregon State University campus Tuesday evening for a "Sustaining Faith," program sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Student Assocaciation. (KEVIN CLARK/The Register-Guard).