A missive to affluent investors.This letter from Fisher Investments came in a very nice package: a large 9x12-inch personalized per·son·al·ize tr.v. per·son·al·ized, per·son·al·iz·ing, per·son·al·iz·es 1. To take (a general remark or characterization) in a personal manner. 2. To attribute human or personal qualities to; personify. outer envelope (that gave the illusion Illusion See also Appearances, Deceiving. Barmecide feast imaginary feast served t0 beggar by prince. [Arab. Lit.: Arabian Nights, “The Barmecide’s Feast”] Emperor’s New Clothes of special delivery, although it was bulk mailed), with a full-page reply device. But the letter could have clone clone, group of organisms, all of which are descended from a single individual through asexual reproduction, as in a pure cell culture of bacteria. Except for changes in the hereditary material that come about by mutation, all members of a clone are genetically a better job of communicating to the affluent investor: (1) Letter setup See BIOS setup and install program. : The overall "look" of this letter is nice, but has a little too much extraneous ex·tra·ne·ous adj. 1. Not constituting a vital element or part. 2. Inessential or unrelated to the topic or matter at hand; irrelevant. See Synonyms at irrelevant. 3. information and doesn't get to the point quickly enough. (2) Salutation: They choose not to have a standard address block at the top (space issue?) and default to a slightly awkward full name salutation. It would have been better to either go personal with a "Dear George" or formal with "Mr. Wachtel." (3) First person: It is OK to start with who the author is, to build credibility; but they go way overboard o·ver·board adv. Over or as if over the side of a boat or ship. Idiom: go overboard To go to extremes, especially as a result of enthusiasm. with 12 first-person references throughout the letter. Better to transform the language into "you" messages to maintain reader interest. (4) What's in it for me? The letter continues on about what the sender wants to do and doesn't get to this critical question to almost the middle of the piece. Better to have said up at the top: "You can learn my latest thinking about the types of stocks to use right now in your portfolio!" (5) Why are we doing this?: It is legitimate to explain the rationale for this free offering. But we do not need three paragraphs to communicate the point? (6) P.S.: This is an important part of the letter. It tells of the unique information the reader will get and could include the point about the free research, to save another paragraph. (7) Call to action: There is none. It is implied that the reader should complete the reply device; but better to include wording about the fax-back option and available 800 number to call. Have a proposed direct-mail letter that you would like the Letter Doctor to evaluate in the magazine? Send to George Wachtel, c/o ABA Aba (ä`bä), city (1991 est. pop. 264,000), SE Nigeria. It is an important regional market, a road and rail hub, and a manufacturing center for cement, textiles, pharmaceuticals, processed palm oil, shoes, plastics, soap, and beer. Bank Marketing magazine, 1120 Connecticut Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C. 20036. E-mail: walbro@aba.com George Wachtel is chairman of WorldCom Inc., Ellington, Conn., a target marketing company specializing in the financial industry. |
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