A little fun at hippies' expense never hurt.

Byline: Mark Baker The Register-Guard

How do you - and why would you - smoke bananas?

Actually, the "how" is the easy part. After all, you could, theoretically, smoke anything, right? And even though "How to Smoke Bananas" is a chapter in Portlander Chelsea Cain's latest book - "The Hippie Handbook" - she doesn't recommend that you actually try this one.

It's just for your reading amusement and a publicity stunt once orchestrated by Country Joe and the Fish. If you don't know who that is, well, then maybe this handbook isn't for you.

The 32-year-old Cain, who writes a weekly free-lance column for The Oregonian's Arts & Entertainment section, got the idea for her third book after she wrote a humor quiz on "How to be a hippie" for The Portland Mercury, an alternative weekly.

And it's unlikely that she wasn't loaded for ideas after growing up in a hippie commune in Iowa.

The point, Cain says, is not to make fun of hippies (Eugene, are you listening?). ``I wanted them to be in on the joke.'' Yes, tie-dyed ones, we are laughing with you, not at you.

Which, of course, is totally far out.

In this colorful and short book that is part "how-to" and part bittersweet memoir: You'll not only learn how to smoke bananas (think about rolling baked pulp residue), you'll also learn how to dress like a hippie (think bare feet - or bare everything), how to drive like a hippie (think rolling stop) and how to dance like a hippie (think spinning).

You'll learn how to change the oil in your VW bus, how to make a dandelion crown, how to run away to Morocco.

You'll learn the obvious - how to tie-dye a T-shirt. And the not-so-obvious - how to grow tempeh in your bathtub.

You'll learn how to name your hippie baby, how to macrame, how to draw psychedelic letters, how to milk a goat, how to Dumpster dive, how to play ``Kumbaya'' on your guitar, how to tree sit, how to recognize an undercover cop and how to build a compost pile.

Cain's dad, ``an old hippie'' who now lives in Florida, helped his daughter immensely with that last one, she says.

"It was amazing what he remembered about composting," Cain says.

To make sure all of these groovy ideas worked, Cain turned her house into a massive arts and crafts scene, she says.

"So I can attest that it all works."

Right on.

CAPTION(S):

``The Hippie Handbook'' is part how-to, part memoir. You'll learn how to name your hippie baby; how to macrame; how to draw psychedelic letters; how to milk a goat; how to Dumpster dive ... and how to build a compost pile.