A day in the life of eHelp Ontario.From: Wanda Chaplinsky CEO (1) (Chief Executive Officer) The highest individual in command of an organization. Typically the president of the company, the CEO reports to the Chairman of the Board. (WChaplinski@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Sent: Monday, April 1, 2009 10:40 AM Subject: Welcome! To: Mindy McDonald (mmcdonald@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Hi Minday. Welcome to the group! This is the first day of the Research Phase of eHelpOntario which is specially mandated to help the average citizen of the province of Ontario get to the root of all their problems. That's our branding logo. I wrote it in five minutes. It would have been one minute, but I only type with two fingers. As you know, your job as special assistant to the CEO (moi), means that you need to be here NO LATER THAN 7 a.m. and have all the briefings prepared (and hopefully the coffee on!) Let me know if this is a problem. If not, see you bright and early tomorrow! :-) Actually, I don't get in until about 10, so see you then. :-))) P.S. Could you pick up a couple of bran muffins Noun 1. bran muffin - muffin containing bran muffin, gem - a sweet quick bread baked in a cup-shaped pan to go with that coffee? The ones I like are at that little coffee kiosk kiosk Originally, in Islamic architecture, an open circular pavilion consisting of a roof supported by pillars. The word has been applied to a Turkish summer garden pavilion and a type of early Persian mosque. just a couple blocks east of here near the streetcar streetcar, small, self-propelled railroad car, similar to the type used in rapid-transit systems, that operates on tracks running through city streets and is used to carry passengers. stop. You might want to take an umbrella--it's not underground! But at least it's fresh air! Sort of! Thanks! You have a great day! Wanda :-) From: Wanda Chaplinsky CEO (JChaplinski@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Sent: Wednesday, April 3, 2009 2:30 PM Subject: Contract! To: Mindy McDonald (mmcdonald@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Hi Minday, Could you prepare the consultant contract for Fred Rosenbloom please? I'm meeting up with Fred later tonight at my in-laws, so I need the paperwork when I leave by 3 p.m. And that should be $2,700 a day, not $270. Can you imagine someone working for THAT?! :-( Ha ha ha! P.S. Didn't I tell you lactose-free milk? I was sure I did. Anyway, just to clarify. And don't forget to add $3.23 to my list of expenses. Along with the muffins. Thanks. You have a great day! Wanda :-) From: Wanda Chaplinsky CEO (JChaplinski@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Sent: Tuesday, April 9, 2009 1:30 PM Subject: Bonus! To: Mindy McDonald (mmcdonald@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Hi Minday. When my bonus cheque comes in by courier A monospaced typeface originating from the typewriter that is commonly used for letters. It is still considered by many to be the "appropriate" typeface for business correspondence. today, could you let me know asap? God, six months is a LOOONG time around this place. I'm leaving at 2 p.m. today, it's stifling around here. CE-E-LE-BRAY-TION time, COME ON! P.S. And they say the civil service is boring. Hey--150 grand is not boring at all, trust me. P.P.S. Are you sure that's lactose-free you're getting? I had gas all day long. NOT PRETTY! :-( Double check next time, kay? Thanks. You have a great day! Wanda :-) From: Wanda Chaplinsky CEO (JChaplinski@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Sent: Thursday, April 18, 2009 12:00 PM Subject: Cancer is Sexy! To: Mindy McDonald (mmcdonald@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Hi Minday. "Cancer is Sexy" is our outreach Outreach is an effort by an organization or group to connect its ideas or practices to the efforts of other organizations, groups, specific audiences or the general public. campaign of the month. Could you prepare the ads please? Just drop them on my desk and I'll take a look at them. Tomorrow. Today I'm leaving at 1 p.m. P.S. Yesterday I consulted with this homeless guy riding the subway subway: see rapid transit. subway Underground railway system used to transport passengers within urban and suburban areas. The first subway line, 3. . Actually, he asked me for a quarter and I didn't have one. I only had TOONIES!! Ha ha ha. Please add another 4 hours to my tally this month. Actually it was only 2 minutes but after all that B.O. it sure FELT like 4 hours. GOD! The things I DO for this job. P.U.!!! :-( Thx. P.P.S. I swear swear v. 1) to declare under oath that one will tell the truth (sometimes "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth"). Failure to tell the truth, and do so knowingly, is the crime of perjury. my coffee tasted like Tim Hortons This article is about the restaurant. For the ice hockey player and the chain's co-founder, see Tim Horton. Tim Hortons is a coffee-and-doughnut fast food restaurant chain largely based in Canada. this morning! And there was this strange foamy foam·y adj. foam·i·er, foam·i·est 1. Of, consisting of, or resembling foam. 2. Covered with foam. foam thing on top! Yucko! I don't think the coffee thing is working so just forget it, okay? Switching to Starbucks. Cheers CHEERS Children's Environmental Exposure Research Study (US EPA) CHEERS California Home Energy Efficiency Rating Services ! You have a great day! Wanda :-) From: Wanda Chaplinsky CEO (JChaplinski@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Sent: Monday, April 22, 2009 2:30 PM Subject: Day off! To: Mindy McDonald (mmcdonald@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Hi Minday. Please take all my calls today, I don't feel like coming in. Actually, I've got a spa treatment. Make sure you add it to my list of expenses--I'll be reading the newspaper while I'm there, i.e. research. P.S. I'm sorry you're quitting at the end of the week. I honestly think a job in the civil service is a great career. You just have to figure out how to make it work for you! See you! Maybe! You have a great day! Wanda :-) From: Wanda Chaplinsky CEO (JChaplinski@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Sent: Friday, April 26, 2009 2:30 PM Subject: !!!!!!!! To: Mindy McDonald (mmcdonald@eHelpOntario.on.ca) Hi Minday. I was SHOCKED to hear you accidentally left a copy of all our e-mails at the television station before you left. How the heck heck interj. Used as a mild oath. n. Slang Used as an intensive: had a heck of a lot of money; was crowded as heck. [Alteration of hell. did THAT happen? Huh? HUH? And throwing the office computer against the wall? THAT was TOTALLY unnecessary. Seriously, I don't care that you quit. Your sorry little butt BUTT. A measure of capacity, equal to one hundred and eight gallons. See Measure. is SO FIRED! TOTALLY! And let me make it clear--NO REFERENCE! How the heck can someone screw screw, simple machine consisting essentially of a solid cylinder, usually of metal, around which an inclined plane winds spirally, either clockwise or counterclockwise. up COFFEE anyway? LOSER! }:-((((((( P.S. And I'm SORRY that I misspelled Minday. Mandy. Mindy. Who cares? What's the difference? English was NOT my major at college, it was ACCOUNTING! OBVIOUSLY! Honey, let me tell you, you'd never make it in the government. Now screw off!! Hey--you have a GREAT DAY! Wanda :-) --C.P. Weary is a Kitchener-based writer who pens a humourous column about a small-town newspaper. Comments are welcome at: soweary@gmail.com. Visit www.soweary.com. [c] Copyright 2009 C.P.Weary. |
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