A child of fate and love.

New Hampshire residents Marianne Marsh and her partner, Carol Ramsey, desperately wanted to adopt. But time and again they met heartbreaking disappointment. Meanwhile, 150 miles away, facing an unplanned pregnancy, Cate Grant and her husband, Lawrence (not their real names), decided to find a GLBT couple to raise their baby. The meeting of these four adults--and a total of three children--was destiny

Cate: I know that fairy tales are true. My husband, Lawrence, and I have lived one. We have been best friends for 15 years and a couple for five. I'm bi, and he's straight. We're atheists who treasure the simple life with our family of cats and a fish, in a cabin deep in the New Hampshire pine forests of my childhood.

We were blissfully child-free by biology due to Lawrence's bout with cancer and my ongoing battle with benign growths. In early 2004, with the late winter snows, I had begun to feel not quite fine. By spring I felt like someone else entirely. The trajectory of my illness followed the well-worn path of every previous growth. Lawrence and I played our usual silly game, naming this growth the "Ticking Widget," or "Widget" for short. Lawrence finally got me to see a doctor. We were stunned to learn that I was pregnant.

Marianne and Carol: Before we met, we both knew we wanted children. Once we found each other, we decided to start our family. We both wanted the experience of being pregnant, so we were eager to purchase our sperm and start our family. After trying for some time, and several procedures, we learned we were both infertile.

We embarked on a journey to learn all we could about adoption: seminars, books, and phone calls. We called adoption agencies and asked up front if they had experience with gay and lesbian families--a question frequently met with silence or a stumbled reply.

Finally, we found Friends in Adoption. They eagerly invited us to their weekend seminar in rural Vermont. There we heard from birth parents, couples who had adopted, and many of their staff who had been adopted or had built their families through adoption. We knew this was the right place for us.

Cate: We never particularly wanted any children of our own. We treat our pets as our children. I had raised my siblings and my friends' children, and I volunteered to design and implement inner city children's programs for 10 years. By the time I was in my mid 20s I'd had more children than the old woman in the shoe. Now, like her, I didn't know what to do.

Fortunately, Lawrence did know what to do--an LGBT adoption. In the past, we had considered being surrogates for two gay couples, but that did not work out. In honor of them we decided to find another deserving same-sex couple. The circle of feminists we called found us an attorney to whom I explained, "We wish to find an LGBT parent or parents for the baby we are hosting. Cast the net wide. A gay atheist man and his transgender Buddhist husband would be fine. All comers are welcome, as long as they're LGBT."

Marianne and Carol: Within a few months we received a call from Friends in Adoption stating that there was a birth mother in our area who wanted an open adoption. But she was not willing to end her parental rights after birth--she had given up children for adoption before--and it took a few months before she could allow the adoption to proceed. We talked with other adoptive parents of her children and decided to take the risk. We had a beautiful baby girl with us for most of her first three months--then the birth mother decided to raise her on her own. We were heartbroken and still grieve this loss.

Soon thereafter we were again selected by a birth mom. Then, two weeks before the baby was due, her mother decided to raise her grandchild.

A few months later we were picked once again. When we learned the birth mother was in labor we drove all night to get there. We saw and held a beautiful baby girl. We patiently waited the legally required five days before we could take custody. The fifth night we got another call. The birth mother had changed her mind and did not want to give her daughter up for adoption. We drove many hours to return home alone once again.

Cate: Two weeks after we asked that the net be cast we received a profile, the shiny picture booklet that childless couples send to hosts to convince them to "Pick me." It was from Carol and Marianne.

We looked quietly into their eyes in each photograph and saw the deep love and respect that they held for one another, their devotion to their pets, and the haunting shadow of their wish. As we gazed, the Widget actually stopped its incessant ticking and sat perfectly still. Lawrence and I know an omen when we see one. "These are the Widget's parents. This is the one!" Lawrence exclaimed happily, waving the profile. We again indulged in our naming game, calling Carol and Marianne "the Mommies."

We telephoned them as we sat outside on a sunny Saturday morning. "Hi, I'm Catherine, and I'm hosting your baby. Which mommy are you?" I asked. After a breathless pause, I heard, "I'm Carol. Let me get Marianne on the line too."

And so began a fabulous friendship.

Marianne and Carol: In the midst of our many disappointments, we decided to take classes to become foster parents. On the night of the last class they asked us if we would take 3- and 4-year-old siblings the following week. We took a deep breath and jumped into parenthood.

Over time we have watched them reveal the details of much abuse and neglect in their young lives. We are honored to be part of their healing process. We have watched them grieve as they realized that their mother was not willing to undertake the requirements necessary to regain custody. We suspect they also feel some relief that they will not have to go back to a situation of potential abuse. Now, a year and a half later, we are hoping to be able to adopt them in the near future.

Nine months after this little girl and boy joined our family, Cate and Lawrence entered our lives.

Cate: We impressed upon Marianne and Carol the importance of this being their pregnancy. We invited the Mommies to their baby's ultrasound, prenatal appointments, and birth. "Wow!" Carol bubbled. "We never dreamed we'd be this welcomed in the process!"

I wanted to be crystal clear. "You're the parents. Just because it's in my uterus doesn't make it any less your baby." The Mommies were undone.

In successive conversations, Carol and Marianne shared their trail of tears in quest of a baby to adopt. They also shared that their foster children suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Even with the best of care, their road to recovery will be difficult.

The Mommies were understandably concerned that disclosing this story might rain their chances of adopting the Widget. But I well know that there's a difference between a troubled tot and a brand-new baby. The Mommies needed a newborn all their own.

Marianne and Carol: When we heard from Cate and Lawrence we wanted to be excited once again, but we had learned not to get our hopes up. When they sensed our reservations, they wondered if we did not like them. Then we shared our journey on the path to adoption. They proceeded to do everything they could to convince us it would really happen this time. They even agreed to come to our local hospital to have the baby.

Cate: When I met the Mommies for their baby's first photos--the ultrasound--they hung back near the foot of the bed, fidgeting with excitement at the prospect of seeing their child. "Come up here," I said, motioning them to my side. "You can see better. I won't bite."

Carol and Marianne shyly smiled with delight as they moved up closer to the monitor. "We wanted to respect your space and your body's privacy," Marianne offered sheepishly.

"I appreciate that, honey, but we're well past that point." I laughed. "You girls are going to be present for Widget Evacuation Day, and privacy really goes out the window then!"

We learned from the technician that the baby was perfectly healthy, about five pounds, and would arrive in late August. Since the baby had wadded itself up like an armadillo, the gender was top secret.

Marianne and Carol: The night before the baby was born Cate and Lawrence stayed at our home, and we enjoyed our time with them. The next day we all went to the hospital together.

Cate: Carol and Marianne gave us a "taggie" blanket with which to sleep, so that the Widget would have our scent near once it debuted on the world stage. They also gave us a tiny tape recorder loaded with their voices, each reading a bedtime story, to play nightly for the Widget. The Mommies also gifted us with essential massage oil to reduce stress and a CD of Marianne's vocal group, which we played for the Widget.

At our final prenatal appointment the doctor discovered that the Widget lay in posterior presentation--feet down--so he scheduled a cesarean section. Our drive one-way to the hospital was 2 1/2 hours, so Carol and Marianne graciously invited us and my hypnotherapist to stay overnight as their houseguests on the eve of the birth. I had "placenta brain" by then and dithered, "Lawrence, we have to get cut flowers on the way. I haven't a hostess gift. what do you get mommies-to-be as a hostess gift anyway?"

Lawrence replied dryly, "I don't know--a baby?"

Hospital rules permitted only two nonmedical guests in the OR with me. We insisted it be the Mommies. Lawrence said, "It's your baby. You'd better be there to meet it!" The Mommies blinked incredulously at Lawrence's generosity. He was our hero that day.

My hypnotherapist worked with me pre-op and post-op. Carol and Marianne met their wish baby with soothing music playing in the background. Marianne held my hand until she and Carol went to greet their newborn boy, Cooper Lee.

The look of love and tenderness that the Mommies exchanged before crossing the sterile field to cut Cooper's cord will always stay with me. To complete the whole experience, I insisted on a suite for them on the "baby floor." I chose the peace and quiet of post-op.

Marianne and Carol: We were in the delivery room, and we will never forget first seeing our little boy, holding him, and cutting the umbilical cord. We stayed in the hospital with him for three days; the nurses and doctors welcomed us and shared the joy of our new baby, although they were not quite sure what to make of our relationship with Cate and Lawrence. Open adoption was a new concept to most of them--much less with a lesbian couple.

We continue to have a wonderful connection to Cate and Lawrence, and we look forward to Cooper knowing his birth parents. He'll feel as blessed as we do.

Cate: We all still keep in touch. Carol and Marianne are hopelessly in love with their new baby, Cooper Lee, whose nickname is still "Widget." I ask them if he still has "that new-car smell," and Lawrence reminds them that "there's a no-return policy, you know." Cooper Lee looks like Lawrence; he also looks like Marianne's father. Our strange little family is living happily ever ajar.

Six months later--as I meditate half-lotus outside in the sun and snow I am grateful. Lawrence and I have two new friends. We have our lovely life back. I have my body back. I have a fading smile-shaped scar to commemorate our happy adventure.

For those of you who long for a newborn baby, don't lose hope. Keep wishing on the stars, because once in a blue moon your fairy-tale dreams do come true.

Marianne and Carol: It was fortuitous timing that Cooper arrived a few months before his grandmother, Marianne's mother, passed away. He was a special joy in her last few months. We will tell him how he napped with his grandma, both of them as peaceful as can be. He continues to fill some of the void for his grandpa, who is missing his wife of 53 years.

It has been an amazing journey to building a family. We went from being childless to having three children in less than a year. Needless to say, our lives will never be the same.

And we love every minute of it.