A bit of latitude; MR BROCKLEBANK.

MR BROCKLEBANK was heartened that the site of Liverpool's first dock - the world's first commercial, enclosed wetdock - was marked at the new Liverpool One shopping centre with an inscription etched on paving stones and its geographical co-ordinates 58.4500'N and 3.0167'W.

But, t'would be unwise to set one's sat nav using these figures, as they are the co-ordinates of a quite different area of open water - the Moray Firth, in north-east Scotland.

IN SPITE of Herbert the hairdresser's "bling palace" being a key Liverpool One building, curiously, he was not invited to its opening.

Undeterred, he hired a coach and horse to tour the city centre waving to his adoring public and anybody else as if he was the star of the show.

Cruising down Hanover Street, he rang his salon and asked staff to come outside and wave to him like Royalty.

LIVERPOOL Cathedral's new gogetting Dean, the Very Rev Justin Welby, maintains his reputation of smart business acumen from previously working as a senior oil industry manager.

Hearing Liverpool One shopping centre was about to buy sandstone to revamp Chavasse Park from the Cathedral's preferred quarry, new stone was quickly ordered so that the needs of Mammon did not leave those of the spirit wanting.

WITH the ruling Lib-Dems just squeaking home after local council elections, Liverpool City Council got an impromptu no confidence vote at the blessed Macca's Anfield concert, when host comic Peter Kay said "thanks to Liverpool County Council for all their help" - and received loud booing from the audience, clearly audible on broadcasts.

His other thanks to BBC Radio Merseyside and a Norris Green tanning salon received no such disrespect.

HOW come Liverpool's weekend Streets Ahead event was organised by Manchester International Arts? Naively, Mr Brocklebank assumed the city was paying its own organisations plenty of money to run our Capital of Culture year. But is it due to that old Liverpool problem - shortage of showbusiness talent?

ALTHOUGH sentimental star Cilla Black wanted to do this year's Empire panto, saying "I can't wait. It will also be a fantastic way to mark the completion of Liverpool's year as Capital of Culture. It's because of Liverpool that I'm doing it", a cruel Sunday newspaper report claimed another reason, citing a source who said: "Cilla didn't want to do it at first. It's really hard work. So her management thought if they asked for silly money then she wouldn't have to.

But when her demands were met, she really couldn't say no."

He asked his staff to wave to him like Royalty