A SOURCE OF SUPPORT IN TRYING TIMES : GROUP HELPS TEENS KICK THEIR ADDICTIONS, ENCOURAGES PARENTS.

Byline: Alicia Doyle Daily News Staff Writer

Brian Mackey did it for the rush - marijuana, nitrous oxide and alcohol, too - they gave the 15-year-old a warm, numbing feeling of satisfaction.

But mostly, Brian did it to escape.

At first, the drugs were an experiment, a tantalizing lure to Mackey who was introduced to the world of drug paraphernalia at the age of 11.

Then came the hook.

``After I tried it, I couldn't stop,'' said Mackey, a teen who looks old for his age, with a blond goatee and butch-cut blond hair. ``It became an escape, a freedom, it was a way to party and have fun.''

The drugs and alcohol were freedom from family problems, an escape from school pressure, they provided a numbness to the pain, anger and frustration facing many teens today, he said.

When his parents stepped in to help, it made matters worse, Mackey remembers.

``Every time we went to counseling, it broke us up even more,'' the teen said. ``They didn't understand what was happening. They didn't know what I was going through.''

So Mackey found a way to come clean on his own.

Two months ago, Mackey joined a support group in Simi Valley that helps teens get sober. Parents, too, are encouraged - but not required - to attend weekly meetings to help them cope with a teen-ager addicted to drugs or alcohol.

``I decided to straighten out my life,'' Mackey said. ``I don't know what it was, exactly, but I knew I really needed to get some help.''

The group - Action - is a nonprofit parent and teen support program that was formed in 1989. There are roughly 10 programs now available statewide at various schools, churches and community centers.

In Simi Valley, group sessions take place for two hours in the evenings at either Apollo Continuation High School, or Royal High School.

Unlike many support groups where teens and parents typically interact, through Action the groups gather in separate rooms to talk about their problems, their fears, their goals.

It gives the teens the chance to talk freely and confidentially with people their age, while parents talk with other parents about the tribulations of raising a teen-ager.

During a typical meeting, the parents split up in small groups of five to 10 where they address concerns involving their teen. Failing grades, skipping school, disrespect and running away are commonly discussed.

For teens, large peer support groups led by trained counselors address problems with family, school, peers, gangs and poor self-esteem. All matters are kept confidential, unless a teen speaks of suicide, homicide or serious drug abuse.

Almost every teen is a former addict - some celebrating months of sobriety, others commended for staying sober one day.

``It gave me a place to come where I could be honest with others talking about feeling hurt and pain without being rejected,'' said Johnny Belgard, a Moorpark resident who joined Action when he was 13 years old. Now 22, Belgard is an Action outreach counselor, helping teens through tough times.

``I see them making the same mistakes I did,'' Belgard said. ``I'm teaching them to understand it's OK to talk about the hurt and pain.''

Action's founder, Cary Quashen, is a recovering drug addict who decided he wanted to help others when he came clean 15 years ago. During his rehabilitation, he discovered there were few places for parents and their teens to get help without having to spend a large amounts of cash on counseling.

``I wanted to create a safe place for these kids to come,'' said Quashen, 40, who lives in La Crescenta. ``I understand what they're going through because it was once my world. After people helped me get sober, I knew it was time for me to give back.''

Alisa Sharon, whose son, Garrett, has been sober with Action for more than three months, believes weekly meetings have taught her how to deal with her own frustrations in a positive way.

``It's helped me learn not to overreact, and set my boundaries,'' said Sharon, who lives in Simi Valley. ``It helps me to be with people here who understand, because they're going through it, too.''

At the end of each meeting, the teens and their parents come together in one room - in tears, anger, and sometimes apathy - where they hold hands in a circle and say a prayer.

Whether they leave together or separately, most go home knowing their problems won't be solved overnight.

``They're taking steps to get there,'' Quashen said.

Mackey's parents don't attend weekly meetings with their son. Still, the group has helped Mackey stay sober.

``I'd rather go on my own,'' he said. ``Here, I feel I'm with people who understand.''

And on Monday, Mackey will celebrate two months of sobriety.

CAPTION(S):

2 Photos

Photo: (1--color in SIMI edition only) Samantha Walker,middle left, and Cary Quashen encourage a mother and daughter during a session for teens with drug abuse problems.

(2--color in SIMI edition only) The nonprofit group Action was formed to help teen-agers and their parents deal with drug addiction in a supportive environment.

(3--ran in SIMI edition only) A mother and daughter hug after an Action support group meeting.

Andy Holzman/Special to the Daily News