A SIDEWAYS GLANCE : WWJLD: LAMPLEY ENLIGHTENS US ON SPORTS FANS' MORAL ISSUES.Byline: - Tom Hoffarth So who needs a moral compass? Hey, at some time or another, we all do. In particular, the sports fan who often encounter situations in which common sense just doesn't apply. For that, we usually find ourselves asking: What would Jim Lampley do? To some, he's the Troy McClure Troy McClure is a recurring fictional character in the animated television series The Simpsons, who was voiced by Phil Hartman, and first appeared in the episode "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment". of American sportscasters. To the rest of us, he's Jack Nicholson's golf buddy who possesses the utmost standards, journalistically and metaphorically. Lampley has volunteered to offer his guidance to resolve some of the potential dilemmas you might face in your daily sports life. ``Most sports fan wouldn't know a moral dilemma if it hit them across the head with a two-by-four,'' Lampley said when asked about participating in this feature. Regardless, we seek his advice: Situation: You've been standing in the stadium refreshment line for a good 20 minutes to grab four beers for you and your friends. Coming back down the aisle, a kid running up the steps bumps into you, and you lose three of the beers. You're left with one. What do you do? Risk missing more action and get back in line? Guzzle guz·zle v. guz·zled, guz·zling, guz·zles v.tr. 1. To drink greedily or habitually: guzzle beer. 2. the beer for yourself and go back to your seat claiming you couldn't wait in the line any longer? Bring the one beer back for your friends to share while you go back to get refilled? What Jim Lampley would do: ``Obviously, the key element to this is what's going on What's Going On is a record by American soul singer Marvin Gaye. Released on May 21, 1971 (see 1971 in music), What's Going On reflected the beginning of a new trend in soul music. in the game and how much time is left. It's the entertainment you're missing. In this case, your friends are meaningless. They should be buying for themselves. The beer left in your hand is the one God intended for you. That's why it survived the collision. It's your right to drink the beer that the universe wanted to be yours.'' Situation: A line-drive foul ball is blistered into the stands right at you, and even to your surprise, you reach up and snare snare (snar) a wire loop for removing polyps and tumors by encircling them at the base and closing the loop. snare n. it. The fans give you a nice ovation and you're on Diamondvision. Before you have a chance to show the ball to those sitting around you, a 10-year-old comes over from a few rows away and asks: ``Hey, mister, can I have the ball?'' What Jim Lampley would do: ``You give the ball to the kid because it was not a Mark McGwire In the context of general equities, this describing a buy interest in which a dealer is asked to offer stock, often involving a capital commitment. Antithesis of in touch with. a simple dividing line Noun 1. dividing line - a conceptual separation or distinction; "there is a narrow line between sanity and insanity" demarcation, contrast, line differentiation, distinction - a discrimination between things as different and distinct; "it is necessary to - you keep fair balls because they're the ones worth keeping. Foul balls are extraneous to the universe by their definition.'' CAPTION(S): Photo PHOTO WWJLD |
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