A RAIN PERMIT -- JUST WHAT ALL THOSE SLIPPERY DRIVERS NEED.Byline: Tom Sirmons OUR recent wet weather has demonstrated yet again the need for something I have long advocated: a special "Rain Endorsement" on all California California (kăl'ĭfôr`nyə), most populous state in the United States, located in the Far West; bordered by Oregon (N), Nevada and, across the Colorado River, Arizona (E), Mexico (S), and the Pacific Ocean (W). drivers licenses. Without this extra certification, it would be illegal to drive in the rain. The problem is obvious. As soon as a few drops of moisture fall, motorists in Southern California Southern California, also colloquially known as SoCal, is the southern portion of the U.S. state of California. Centered on the cities of Los Angeles and San Diego, Southern California is home to nearly 24 million people and is the nation's second most populated region, begin spinning off freeways and plunging plunge v. plunged, plung·ing, plung·es v.tr. 1. To thrust or throw forcefully into a substance or place: down embankments. There is no fun for anyone concerned and people get hurt. Traffic, already ridiculous, reaches to the absurd. Getting around simply becomes an exercise in frustration, or worse. Don't don't 1. Contraction of do not. 2. Nonstandard Contraction of does not. n. A statement of what should not be done: a list of the dos and don'ts. get me wrong. I'm not criticizing the way Southern Californians drive. On the contrary: In dry weather we are all perfectly, umm, marginally competent behind the wheel. Well, most of us anyway. But rain seems to have an effect on us comparable to that of wine on revelers at a Dionysian rite. I don't know Don't know (DK, DKed) "Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party. whether it changes our driving behavior or reveals certain otherwise minor flaws in our motoring. Such as following six inches behind the car in front of you at 75 miles an hour, and changing lanes without warning at high speed to fill a gap that matches your car's length to within centimeters. We won't even mention such trivial TRIVIAL. Of small importance. It is a rule in equity that a demurrer will lie to a bill on the ground of the triviality of the matter in dispute, as being below the dignity of the court. 4 Bouv. Inst. n. 4237. See Hopk. R. 112; 4 John. Ch. 183; 4 Paige, 364. affairs as cruising down the shoulder of the freeway in heavy traffic or creating bottlenecks in order to gain an extra 20 feet toward your destination. We are all adults here. No, the real issue is our ability do drive in the rain. Therefore, I propose the following questions be added to all applications for drivers licenses. They must be answered correctly for the "Rain Endorsement" to be issued. 1. What does the concept of water falling from the sky mean to you? A) The gods are angry. B) It is raining. C) I've never heard of such a thing. D) The roads will be slippery; I should slow down and leave extra time to reach my destination. 2. As visibility decreases on account of the rain, I should: A) Turn off my headlights so as to be as unobtrusive as possible. B) Use other motorists' impaired vision as an opportunity to get in front of them. C) Maintain speed but drive by watching the stripes on the highway to my left instead of looking in front of me. D) Turn on my lights and increase my following distance. 3. When the roads are wet and slippery, the best course of action is: A) No change in my already excellent driving practices; let the less competent motorists slow down. B) Increase speed to save gas by taking advantage of the "hydroplaning Hydroplaning and hydroplane may refer to:
C) See how fast I can change lanes and take corners without losing control. D) Don't drive unless absolutely necessary and then be extra cautious, defensive and courteous cour·te·ous adj. Characterized by gracious consideration toward others. See Synonyms at polite. [Middle English corteis, courtly, from Old French, from cort, court; see . Obviously, I'm not going to give the answers away here. One must study to get the "Rain Endorsement." And of course, natives of the Northeast who know how to handle cars that are completely out of control, would be exempt. But the law would be: no endorsement, no driving in the rain. Don't nag me about enforcement costs. I can't think of everything. Naturally, given the times in which we live, it may well be argued that my statute would discriminate dis·crim·i·nate v. dis·crim·i·nat·ed, dis·crim·i·nat·ing, dis·crim·i·nates v.intr. 1. a. against the dim-witted adj. 1. mentally retarded; relatively slow in mental function. Adj. 1. dim-witted - lacking mental capacity and subtlety simple-minded, simple . To which I can only reply, I certainly hope so. CAPTION(S): PHOTO Photo A rain test taking stret corners without losing control. Myung J. Chun/Daily News |
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