A PRETTY SCARY 'MONSTER-IN-LAW'.Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Critic WHEN A MAN recently spat tobacco juice Noun 1. tobacco juice - saliva colored brown by tobacco (snuff or chewing tobacco) saliva, spittle, spit - a clear liquid secreted into the mouth by the salivary glands and mucous glands of the mouth; moistens the mouth and starts the digestion of starches on Jane Fonda Noun 1. Jane Fonda - United States film actress and daughter of Henry Fonda (born in 1937) Fonda after waiting patiently in line for 90 minutes at a book-signing event for the actress' tell-all tome, it was assumed he was a disgruntled dis·grun·tle tr.v. dis·grun·tled, dis·grun·tling, dis·grun·tles To make discontented. [dis- + gruntle, to grumble (from Middle English gruntelen; see Vietnam vet still bitter at Fonda for the whole Hanoi Jane thing. Probably. Or he might just have come from a preview screening of Fonda's comeback movie, ``Monster-in-Law.'' Yes, it's that bad. In fact, this horribly unfunny comedy is downright embarrassing to everyone involved, especially Fonda, who gives a screeching, one-note performance (she rolls her eyes more than the shark in ``Jaws'') that is painful to watch. For this she waited 15 years? Well, at least she was honest when interviewed, saying she made the movie for a paycheck. Essentially ``Meet the Parents'' with half the in-laws and an even smaller portion of the laughs, ``Monster-in-Law'' has Fonda standing in for Robert De Niro Noun 1. Robert De Niro - United States film actor who frequently plays tough characters (born 1943) De Niro as the preposterously protective parent, with the terminally bland Jennifer Lopez playing the Ben Stiller interloper. Lopez's Charlie is an oh-so-adorable working stiff of the wacky La La Land variety (she walks dogs - probably just for the requisite poop Poop A slang term often used to describe people with insider information. Notes: Not the most illustrious name. See also: Insider Information joke - as well as toiling as a temp, yoga instructor, Little League coach, yada, yada, yada) who meets the man of her dreams (Michael Vartan playing a plot device) only to realize that the dream has a dark underbelly (Fonda). Uh-oh. Director Robert Luketic (``Legally Blonde'') and first-time screenwriter Anya Kochoff have little interest in taking the story anywhere dark or interesting. (Jay Roach's ``Meet the Parents'' and ``Meet the Fockers'' look like Bergman by comparison.) Instead, the filmmakers are content to emphasize flimsy fairy-tale themes, making sure to hammer home every plot point so the target audience of teen girls (and their moms) won't be offended or confused. Such condescension con·de·scen·sion n. 1. The act of condescending or an instance of it. 2. Patronizingly superior behavior or attitude. [Late Latin cond is both off-putting and insulting, but then what do you expect from a movie that casts African-American actress Wanda Sykes Wanda Sykes (born March 7, 1964), also known as Wanda Sykes-Hall, is an Emmy-winning American stand-up comedian and actress. She is well known for her blunt observations on current events, the difference between the sexes and races, and life in general. as Fonda's sassy sas·sy 1 adj. sas·si·er, sas·si·est 1. Rude and disrespectful; impudent. 2. Lively and spirited; jaunty. 3. Stylish; chic: a sassy little hat. slave, er, servant, er, personal assistant in a comic creation that would have made Jack Benny's Rochester beam with pride. It's like Bruce Springsteen said last week during his concert at the Pantages: ``We've come a long way. And now we're going back again.'' Glenn Whipp, (818) 713-3672 glenn.whipp(at)dailynews.com MONSTER-IN-LAW - One star (PG-13: sex references, language) Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Jane Fonda, Wanda Sykes. Director: Robert Luketic. Running time: 1 hr. 35 min. Playing: In wide release. In a nutshell: ``Meet the Parents'' with half the in-laws and an even smaller portion of the laughs. |
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