A MODERN STORY ABOUT A MAN NAMED JED 'CAPITOL HILLBILLIES' COULD PORTRAY VOTING PUBLIC AS STATE'S REAL RUBES.

Byline: Jon Coupal

AMERICANS lost another beloved entertainer recently with the passing of Buddy Ebsen. Ebsen played a lot of roles over his long career - he was originally cast as the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz until an allergic reaction to the aluminum paint forced him to give up the part - but he was best known as the kindly Jed Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies.

``The Beverly Hillbillies'' was one of those shows that no one admitted watching, but it had consistently high ratings over its seven-year run.

The premise of this ``unwatched'' show was that Jed, an Ozark hillbilly, got rich after discovering oil on his property and moved his family to Beverly Hills. The laughs were provided as each week these simple rural people had a culture clash with the city folks.

Now, like everyone else, I didn't watch the show either, but I'm told that the Clampetts exhibited a lot more wisdom, integrity and human compassion than most of the ``more sophisticated'' people they encountered each week.

In recent months there has been Hollywood talk of CBS producing a new version of the show. If the project gets off the ground, one member of Congress has already declared his intention to protest this ``insult'' to country people.

Perhaps the network could avoid a political correctness squabble by using another city and a family with a slightly different background.

The new show would be titled ``The Capitol Hillbillies'' and would feature a typical California family that moves to Sacramento. The only reflection of the original show would be that, as a tribute to Buddy Ebsen, the patriarch of the family would still be called ``Jed.''

Each week, viewers would be treated to an episode showing how politicians and bureaucrats regard their constituents as rubes who just fell off the turnip truck.

In week one, the family's naivete would be demonstrated by having them register shock and indignation upon learning how much political influence is bought through campaign contributions. To add realism, various special interest lobbyists would appear in cameo roles delivering checks to Gov. Gray Davis, who would play himself.

The program would end with Jed talking philosophically to his family. ``After all, we're not from around here, and it's important to respect other peoples' customs,'' he'd say.

The second episode would start with the family's children in school, learning about how government is supposed to work. As part of a civics project they would attend Capitol budget hearings.

The dramatic climax would occur when they return home crying after learning that 95 percent of those testifying for greater spending - and higher taxes - are the providers of government services, not the recipients.

The show would wrap up with Jed providing the kids with a folksy homily about not giving up on their ideals, and suggesting they look into government jobs when they finish school.

This week's episode, with an all-star cast of state politicians, could be a ratings burner.

Outside the local supermarket, Jed is persuaded to sign a petition to recall the governor. State Treasurer Phil Angelides would then accost Jed, warning - as he has done recently - that efforts to recall the governor could hurt the state financially.

Jed, the innocent, would try to respond saying that with a $38 billion deficit he didn't see how things could get much worse. Where he comes from, if a boss leaves an employee in a store with a cash register full of money and returns a short time later to find the cash drawer empty except for a stack of IOUs the employee has run up, that worker would be fired and probably end up in jail.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein would then appear and remind Jed of his ignorance. The governor was elected to solve these problems, she'd admonish.

A perplexed Jed would explain that when Gray Davis took office, none of these problems existed. He signed the recall because he figured that if the governor could get California into the worst deficit in the history of any state in little more than four years, if allowed to serve out his second term, he could make things twice as bad.

Next, Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante and a parade of administration officials would step forward and insist that the governor is not responsible and neither are they. On this point, even Jed can agree.

The heartwarming conclusion would have Jed back at home with the family explaining how most Californians may be ``simple folks'' by Sacramento standards, but they sure have a lot more sense than the politicians.