A Life without Father

How does society determine the value of fathers in today''s families? Clearly, today''s women are more independent; many families lack a male figure in the household. Are fathers the forgotten fixture in the life of the average child? On a routine basis, I am bombarded with negative comments on the inferiority of some men. Some women view their child''s biological daddy as merely a sperm donor. There are numerous cases to support the trifling contributions of some men. However, not all men are merely sperm donors. Are men relevant in families living in our modern society? Let''s explore this matter with an everyday perspective.

Today a culture war rages between two generations, traditional and contemporary. Many individuals would claim that the traditional family structure is outdated. Clearly, the demographic shift in America suggests something is happening. According to the 2006 Census Report, there are over 60 million fathers in the United States. Of these, there are 26.4 million in a traditional family environment. Unfortunately, the story isn''t all a pleasant one. With the increase in out-of-wedlock births and the high number of divorces, children living away from their biological father have become commonplace. Furthermore, the National Survey of America''s Families estimated in 1997 that one in three children under 18 years lives apart from one of their parents. Are today''s families better off without fathers? I would say ''no'' to this suggestion.

Fathers are a staple in our community. The truth is that fathers are necessary to achieve a healthy family balance even though they are not often celebrated as such. A substantial body of research indicates that high levels of involvement by fathers contribute to children''s wellbeing, including better peer relationships, fewer behavior problems, lower criminality, and higher career mobility. Noted sociologist Dr. David Popenoe argues, "Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is likely to bring." However, the opposite is also true. Children can have an awful life as the consequence of the lack of a caring father. There is a lack of good mentors to teach young boys how to become men and show young girls how to be treated as young ladies. This absence creates societal problems. Steve Farrar, author of Point Man, explains, "We have a crisis on our hands without precedent. I''m an optimist, but the magnitude of the catastrophe overwhelms my ability to comprehend."

Finally, most fathers are content with their routine necktie every Father''s Day. However, the absence of a caring father makes a difference to a child. My experience with most men is they are really trying to do the right things. Obviously, there are numerous examples of deadbeat dads. If we buy into the notion that fathers are meaningless, how do we provide our children with a sense of optimism for the future? Therefore, every child deserves to have a concerned father who is their number one fan. That''s an everyday perspective.

Daryl Green, a Generation Xer, investigates societal issues facing everyday Americans. He is a nationally recognized lecturer and author in the United States. If you have comments or questions, you can contact him at http://www.darylgreen.org.