A LITTLE SHUNNING, A LITTLE FLOGGING: ISN'T L.A. GRAND?

Byline: JANE ROBISON

LOS Angeles has always prided itself on being a laid-back kind of town. Casual lifestyles, unhurried morning commutes and drivers who go out of their way to wave, even if it is with just one finger.

In short, mindless acts of gratuitous kindness abound.

Let's face it: Angelenos love the good life. Perhaps it's something in the air. Sunny isn't just the day's weather. It's a way of life here in Southern California - so much so that a dramatic departure from the norm - i.e., ugly, rude, uncivilized behavior - is frowned upon.

And when behavior passes the corner on rude and pushes into aggressive, loud and obnoxious, it simply cannot be tolerated in the City of Angels. I'm speaking, of course, of the single biggest scourge to confront society today: aggressive panhandling.

When an aggressive bum accosted an elected official, hitting him up for change to the point of public discomfiture, City Council members sprang into action. They passed, with uncommon speed, the Beggar Begone Law.

Calling it a necessary tool to deal with a quality-of-life issue affecting residents and tourists, Mayor Richard Riordan signed the law in July to ban the appalling practice of begging for money on a public street.

In Los Angeles, begging for money is tolerated only from elected officials who won't leave corporate board rooms with anything less than seven figures.

Public groveling, conspicuous loitering around ATM machines or blocking the path of moviegoers and preventing them from getting to the previews on time will not be tolerated. Take it back to the Big Apple.

The Beggar Begone Law will go down as the single most important piece of legislation to save civilization. It sends an unequivocal message to beggars that the city will no longer put up with harassment of Los Angeles' denizens.

How does this law work?

When a husky beggar hits you up for money, simply shun the person. If necessary, wave your hand and say, ``Away with you, my good man,'' and he will leave you and your hundreds of dollars you've just withdrawn from the ATM machine alone.

Shunning has a long and glorious history as public policy. In the Dark Ages, shunning is how decent society dealt with lepers and adulterers, before they could run for office.

Now that we're more enlightened, we elect adulterers and rely on shunning as a means of restoring order and control to our everyday lives.

Which is why the City Council is adapting the Beggar Begone Law to deal with a variety of public scourges. Unruly citizens, for example.

When renegade residents began preying on public servants, demanding accountability, respect and action and attacking council members as do-nothing, know-nothing parasites on the public treasury, the council weighed in with the Citizen Begone Act.

Councilman Michael Feuer and council President John Ferraro co-sponsored an ordinance creating new rules of decorum by prohibiting speakers from using ``insulting, slanderous, profane'' or ``loud'' language if it is likely to cause disruption at council meetings.

Until the council formally approves the Citizen Begone Act and malcontents can be banned from meetings, they will be dealt with appropriately through public shunning. During routine council meetings, council members will continue to read the paper, talk on the phone, eat meals and carry on private conversations while citizens testify before them.

Democracy is not for rabble-rousers. Only the demure and well-connected should address the august body of elected officials.

I'm thinking the council should organize roving bands of volunteer shunners to identify, isolate and publicly shun unwarranted behavior whenever and wherever it occurs.

Personally, I'm not sure shunning goes far enough. Wouldn't it be fun to bring back public floggings?

I'm thinking a good, old-fashion public pillorying could really help bring this town together. Bring the kids. Pack a lunch. Make a day of it.

We could flog a few MTA officials in the morning and wrap up the day by shunning aggressive panhandlers.

Of course, the bleeding heart do-gooders among us probably will undo this serious attempt to expose and alter naked aggression by offering to take a beggar to lunch at Cardini's.

I wouldn't be surprised to see bumper stickers showing up all over town saying, ``Did you hug a beggar today?''

And people wonder what prompts road rage.